


Run Right Into You

by wabadabadaba



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Drinking, Fluff, Harry is pansexual, Kid Fic, Lots and lots of Pining, M/M, Making Out, Mild Angst, One Night Stand, Panic Attack, Pining, zayn is gay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-22
Updated: 2020-06-21
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:27:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 26,708
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23776846
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wabadabadaba/pseuds/wabadabadaba
Summary: "Alright then Harry, what books do you read, hm?"It was the first time Zayn said his name and Harry thought he was going to faint from the sound. This was it, this was the time for Harry to admit he was a father."Well, if you must know, Zayn," Harry smiled. "I don't get to read what I like as much because I'm too busy reading children's books to my son."or the one where Harry Styles is a dad and meets Zayn who does not want kids, yet.
Relationships: Zayn Malik/Harry Styles
Comments: 60
Kudos: 190





	1. Someday, I understand.

**Author's Note:**

> So I don't really know what this is. I was watching Peter Pan and got inspired by the thought of a tiny Harry Styles and the pain of Zayn not wanting kids...yet. I have quite a few chapters written out already but updates might be slow. One note about this chapter, I have never been to a speed dating thing so I'm sorry if it doesn't make much sense. Also, the title of this story is from Into You by Julia Michaels. 
> 
> Thanks for reading. :)

Harry Styles looked around the bar and couldn't help but fidget with the rings on his fingers. The bar was fairly crowded with a decent mixture of both men and women. Nobody has caught his eye so far but Harry wasn't expecting much from the evening. When his best friend, Louis, first told him about the speed dating event at the bar Harry laughed at him. Harry didn't think these types of events still happened and the thought of meeting people in quick succession made Harry's skin crawl. But, Harry was lonely and it had been a long time since he had tried to date, anyone. He wasn't expecting to make a connection with anyone but spending time with adults that weren't Louis or his family, did seem appealing. 

Harry allowed Louis to watch his son, Milo, while Harry went to the event. Louis teased Harry for his outfit; Louis eyed him up and down with an eyebrow raised, you sure you aren't trying to get laid? Harry huffed and tried to march to his room to change but Louis shooed him out of the tiny house. So Harry was stuck wearing a light blue buttoned shirt and tight black jeans and his favorite pair of boots. He left his hair down and put on his rings that he hadn't worn in a long time; Milo often tried to eat his rings so he stopped wearing them around the two year old. 

With a sigh, Harry turned back to the bartender and ordered another cocktail. Harry's gaze looked over the room again and stopped when he noticed a man on the opposite side of the room. He was gorgeous. He was tall like Harry, with black hair and tattoos covering his neck and arms. Harry watched as he talked to the blonde haired man beside him. He looked irritated while his friend looked dismissive and happy. Harry immediately looked away when the man he was checking out made eye contact with him.

Harry busied himself with his phone, he checked his Snapchat and he couldn't help but smile at the pictures Louis sent him of Milo eating dinner. Harry was happy to be out and doing something for himself but he missed his boy. He sent Louis a text, asking how everything was going before pocketing his phone. He glanced around the room, his eyes easily finding the gorgeous man with the tattoos. Harry was surprised when the stranger was already looking at him. Harry felt his cheeks flush as he turned away.

"Hello everyone!" Harry turned around again and faced the door where a woman was standing. "Thank you so much for coming to our LGBT speed dating mixer tonight! We are about to get started. Pick a seat and we'll start in a moment."

Harry moved away from the bar and sat in the seat closest to him. He eyed the clipboard in front of him and rolled his eyes at the cheesy questionnaire. He understood the need for the questions, it was a good way to break the ice, it didn't ease the awkwardness of it, however. Harry looked up as he saw someone sit down in front of him. 

"Hello," the woman smiled, a slight flush on her cheeks.

"Hello."

Before either could start talking, the woman from before started talking again. She instructed everyone to fill out a name tag with their name, orientation, and preferred pronouns. Harry filled it out and stuck it on his shirt before glancing at the woman in front of him. Her name was Charlotte and she was a lesbian.

Harry couldn't help but chuckle. "Excuse me, Charlotte. I don't think we're going to work out so if you want to find somewhere else to sit."

"Oh, right," the woman laughed. "I'm just so nervous I sat down at the first chair I found."

"I understand," Harry smiled at her. "I'm really nervous too. You don't have to move, of course. I don't mind being your test run."

The woman before him visibly relaxed. "That would be awesome."

The host of the evening explained the guidelines for the event; they would have five minutes with each person and the person who was facing away from the bar would be moving. The host rang a bell, indicating the first five minutes was starting.

Harry looked over at Charlotte and smiled at her. "How are you doing today?

"I'm good, I'm an accountant and since it's tax season I'm very busy. This is my first night out in weeks. What about you?"

"Oh, I'm good. I, uh, I'm a programmer. I work at Delta Airlines and I'm also a dad." Harry saw Charlotte's eyes go wide and he winced. "Was it too soon to mention that? I never know how to bring it up but I have to."

"No, not too soon. I'm just surprised, you look so young."

"Just turned twenty-six," Harry shrugged.

"How old is your child?" Charlotte asked, sipping her drink.

"He's two. His name is Milo and he is the absolute best, though I might be biased."

Charlotte laughed. "Probably so. Are you prepared to answer people's questions about Milo's mom?"

"Absolutely, we're pretty good friends and awesome coparents. Milo was a happy surprise due to a one night stand."

Charlotte laughed and nodded. "I like the way you worded that. I'm so happy I'm a lesbian and don't have to worry about unexpected pregnancies," Charlotte shivered.

"Oh yeah, I bet. When condom companies put 98% effective on the box, they mean it."

"Damn," Charlotte laughed. 

"Yeah," Harry grinned. "So pretend I'm a pretty woman, tell me more about yourself."

Charlotte rolled her eyes but indulged Harry. They easily chatted until the host rang the bell, Harry bid his goodbyes to Charlotte before moving to the next table, hoping the woman sitting there actually liked men and children.

After talking to three different people, Harry was exhausted. The women he chatted with were lovely but there was no spark and the man he talked to gave Harry a bad vibe. He was tempted to leave but sitting at the next table was the gorgeous man from before and Harry decided he might as well give it a shot.

Harry sat down, nearly missing the chair making the stranger laugh. "You alright mate?"

"Yes," Harry blushed. "Just clumsy."

Harry read the man's name tag quickly; Zayn Malik, gay. Well, Harry could work with that and he just hoped Zayn didn't have a problem with his own sexuality. The bell rang signifying the start of five minutes. Zayn leaned forward and pointed at the sticker on Harry's chest.

"So, how did you realize you were attracted to pans?" Zayn joked.

Harry rolled his eyes and if it wasn't for Zayn's easy smile, he probably would have said something harsh. 

Instead, he smiled and shrugged. "The first time I held a pan in my hand, it felt like fate you know?"

Zayn laughed and shook his head. "I'm sure you get that all the time."

Harry shrugged. "If people actually know what it is, yes. Most people just try to correct me and tell me I'm just bisexuality which, you know, is fine."

"Shouldn't be fine, you identify with pansexual and that's that."

Harry's heart fluttered and he didn't think he could talk just yet so he took a sip of his watered-down cocktail as Zayn eyed him again.

"Other than having sex with pans," Zayn smirked. "What else do you like to do? What are your hobbies?"

"Baking," Harry told him. "I worked in a bakery when I was young and it just kind of stuck around. What about you?"

"I like to read and play guitar."

Harry felt a shiver go through his spine. Zayn was gorgeous and a musician? Harry didn't think he could handle anything more. 

"What books do you like to read?" Harry asked him. 

"Don't laugh but young adult books. Like sci-fi and horror series." Harry bit his bottom lip as Zayn chuckled and shook his head. "I said not to laugh!"

Harry shook his head and frowned. "I'm not laughing, I don't know why you would think that."

"Alright then Harry, what books do you read, hm?"

It was the first time Zayn said his name and Harry thought he was going to faint from the sound. This was it, this was the time for Harry to admit he was a father.

"Well, if you must know, Zayn," Harry smiled. "I don't get to read what I like as much because I'm too busy reading children's books to my son."

Harry watched as Zayn's teasing facial expression fell. Zayn's once sparkling hazel eyes looked confused and he was frowning now instead of smirking. Harry knew the chances of Zayn being a gorgeous musician who didn't mind dating a dad was too good to be true. But it didn't hurt any less.

"He's two, name's Milo," Harry offered. "I guess if I had to pick a favorite book that I read to him it would be Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day," Harry shrugged. Zayn was quiet and Harry was desperate to fill the silence. "It's okay you know, that you don't like kids or whatever."

"I do like kids, would like to have my own someday but," Zayn faltered.

"Someday," Harry nodded. "I understand."

"I think you're brilliant," Zayn told him. "A total babe and really funny but," he trailed off again.

Harry wished Zayn hadn't complimented him, it made it sting a little worse. "Yeah, thank you. I mean, you're beautiful obviously even if you read kid's books."

"Young adult," Zayn corrected, smiling softly again.

"Maybe we would have worked out in a different life."

"Yeah," Zayn sighed, nodding. 

Harry was thankful when he heard the bell go off, he didn't think he could keep talking to Zayn. It shouldn't have affected Harry so much that Zayn didn't want kids right now. Lots of people didn't and Harry understood that. He didn't know Zayn well enough to feel so disappointed but Zayn was so hot and so easy to talk to. He was the first person in a long time, really since Milo came to be, that piqued Harry's interest.

After three more five minute dates, the event was finally over and with one last look towards Zayn, Harry left the bar. He was eager to get home to his boy and maybe complain to Louis that life wasn't fair and why did the universe make him meet Zayn if Zayn wasn't ready for kids.


	2. I Like Your Suit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is kind of boring and a bit of a filler chapter. Things get more interesting, I swear.

"Alright little man," Harry cooed at his son as he put him in the shopping cart.

Harry fastened the belt around his son and adjusted the diaper bag on his back before pushing the cart into the grocery store. It was a beautiful fall day, the air was crisp and leaves were beginning to fall. It was the perfect day for a picnic so he called his sister, Gemma, and his mother, Anne, who were more than happy to go to the park with the two of them. 

When they reached the produce aisle, Harry grabbed a fruit bowl for everyone to share. 

"Apple!" Milo pointed at the stack of red apples near him.

"Good job, Milo! Those are apples."

Milo stuck his hand out and opened and closed his fingers. "I eat?"

"I got us some fruit already, it has apple slices in it, don't worry."

"Oh," Milo nodded and seemed pleased by his dad's explanation. 

Harry continued to walk around the grocery store, picking up snacks he knew his family would want. Milo started to get a little cranky and was asking for everything on the shelves so Harry took an apple sauce squeeze out of his bag and opened it for Milo.

"Here Mi, eat this. It'll hold you over until we get to the park."

Harry's heart broke a little at the sight of his son eating the snack. Since it was chilly outside Harry dressed him in a simple outfit and used his fuzzy blue onesie that looked like a bear. He looked adorable so Harry took a few pictures; sending one to Milo's mom, Elise. 

"Harry?"

Harry looked up from his phone and nearly choked at the sight of Zayn. He was wearing a leather jacket covering a white t-shirt, jeans and boots, and a black beanie was covering his hair.

"Zayn," Harry breathed. "Hi, how are you?"

Zayn walked closer and smiled. "I'm good. This must be Milo."

Harry smiled down at his son. "It is. Milo, do you want to say hi to Zayn?" Milo looked up at Zayn with big eyes before looking at his dad again. "It's okay bub, you don't have to."

Milo shook his head and looked down at the snack in his hand. Harry rubbed his sons back and looked over at Zayn.

"Sorry," Harry smiled. "I'm trying to teach him independence in small ways and consent. I never want him to feel pressure to talk to people just because I said so. I want him to know his opinion matters. I'm sorry, I'm rambling."

Zayn smiled softly and shook his head. "It's okay, it's cute." Zayn turned to Milo who was now looking at him. "Hi, Milo."

Milo took the snack out of his mouth. "Hi."

Zayn's eyes flickered up to Harry, who could only smile. "I like your suit."

"Ta," Milo smiled. "It's boo!"

"Blue," Harry corrected. 

"Blue," Milo smiled and nodded. "Daddy say its cold out so I have to buddle up."

"Bundle up, love," Harry corrected.

"He's right, it is cold outside. What are you doing today, Milo?"

"Picnic!!! With Gemgem and Nana!"

"My sister and mom," Harry clarified. "I figured it is the perfect day for a park visit."

"That sounds fun. I'll leave you to it then. It was very nice to meet you, Milo."

"Bye Z!" 

Harry noticed Zayn's eyes softened at the use of the nickname but Harry didn't have the heart to tease him about it. He was still gutted he didn't have a chance with him.

"It was good seeing you Zayn," Harry told him smiling.

"Yeah, you too," Zayn's eyes trailed up and down Harry's body before he smiled. "See you around Harry. Bye Milo."

Once Zayn walked away, Harry rested his forearms on the cart and kissed Milo's cheek. 

"Daddy has to get it together," Harry told his son.

Milo giggled. "Yeah!"

Harry finally finished his shopping and piled his groceries and Milo into the car and headed for the park. Once there, Anne started chasing after Milo in the open field while Gemma helped Harry set everything up.

"So, how did the speed dating event go?"

"How do you know about that!?" Harry screeched.

Gemma laughed and shrugged. "Louis sent me a picture the other day on snapchat and he told me where you were."

"I'm never letting him babysit again." 

It was a lie and they both knew it but Gemma didn't call her brother out on it.

"Well?"

"The only person who piqued my interest wasn't into the single dad thing."

"I'm sorry Harry," Gemma frowned.

"It's okay. I figured that was going to be the case, you know. It was nice to get out there again, reminded me of why I hate dating."

"What was the person like? The one you fancied?"

"He's gorgeous like I'm certain he is a model gorgeous. Beautiful tan skin, dark hair, hazel eyes with these long eyelashes, and this incredible jawline. He was quick and funny. He teased me but it wasn't mocking or anything. I don't know. He was really cool. I saw him today actually, at the store."

"Yeah?" Gemma asked. "What happened?"

"Other than wishing things were different? Nothing."

"Oh, Harry. I'm sorry babe."

"It's fine, really. I'm being melodramatic. He is just so pretty."

"Gemgem!" Milo called, waddling over to his aunt. "Come play with me! Nana says she is getting too old."

Both Harry and Gemma laughed at that, Harry telling his son he shouldn't repeat that. Gemma ran off with Milo and was replaced with his mother who looked out of breath.

"Alright?" Harry asked. "Milo said you were getting too old."

"I am," Anne grinned. "Thank goodness you had him when you did. I'm not getting any younger."

Harry rolled his eyes and started eating more of the snacks. "What's going on with you, mom? Fill me in."

Hours later, Milo was asleep in Harry's arms and his family was helping Harry bring everything to his car. Once Milo was safely in his car seat, Harry said goodbye to his mom and sister. Harry quietly listened to his music and sang along as he drove to his home. 

It was in these moments where Harry had to bring Milo in with other things that Harry wished he had someone to help. He wouldn't have to feel anxious about leaving Milo in his car seat, with the door open of course, as he ran back and forth to bring bags in. It would be so nice to have someone either carry Milo or the bags. Harry knew the dream of completing his family was still far away. He did his best to push the thoughts out of his mind as he changed Milo's clothes and diaper. He kissed Milo on the head and set him down in his crib for a nap while Harry busied himself with chores.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys liked it! Please let me know any thoughts, feelings, and criticism. Be honest but gentle, I'm sensitive. Tags will be updated as the story progresses and I think of more.


	3. You're Already Under My Skin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry goes out with Louis and sings karaoke and then flirts with Zayn and gets sad about it.

It had been a rough week for Harry. The project he had been working on at work was not coming together like he hoped it would. Milo was going through a growth spurt and he was growing more teeth so when he wasn't sleeping, he was crying. Harry was close to pulling his hair out and if it wasn't for his mom watching Milo Saturday evening, Harry probably would have broken something in his home. 

Harry had plans to meet Louis at some bar in Midtown but Harry just wanted to appreciate the silence of his home for a little while. He poured himself a small glass of wine and sat on the couch, resting his head against the back of it and closing his eyes. Enjoying the silence quickly turned into missing his son, even if he was being a little tyrant. Harry finished his wine far too quickly and changed out of his dad clothes and into something a little more appropriate for a night out in Midtown. 

He flipped through his closet until he found his favorite floral button-up and black trousers. He slipped on his boots and tried to make his hair look alright before deciding to throw it up in a bun instead. He made sure he had everything he needed before getting back in his car and driving into the city. Harry easily found Louis in the bar, he was always the loudest in any room he was in. 

"Harry!" Louis wrapped his arms around Harry quickly. "How is Milo?"

"Still not doing too well. Mom thinks his teeth are finally breaking through which hopefully means the pain will start to subside."

"My poor baby," Louis frowned. "I hope he feels better soon."

"That makes two of us," Harry sighed before ordering a drink.

"Come on let's go sit down and see if pretty boys will chat us up."

The best friends had been at the bar for nearly an hour when Louis dragged Harry onstage to perform a karaoke song. As Harry sang Sandy Olson's part of 'You're The One That I Want', his eyes scanned the crowd, and of course, sitting at the bar was Zayn. Harry quickly averted his gaze from Zayn and once the song was over he rushed off the stage and disappeared into the crowd.

"Hey," Louis called after Harry. "What gives?"

Harry slumped down in his seat, crossing his arms over his chest and pouted. "Zayn is here."

"Who?" 

Harry rolled his eyes and sat up. "The hot guy who can't date me because I'm a dad."

"Oh," Louis frowned. 

Harry was going to respond but stopped when he saw Zayn walking towards their table, followed by the same blonde he was with at the event. 

"Harry Styles, you lied to me," Zayn smirked once he got to the table. 

Harry ignored the way Louis was staring at him. "How so?"

"You didn't tell me you could sing."

"I didn't lie, I omitted the truth is all. Zayn this is my best friend, Louis."

"It's a pleasure meeting you," Louis grinned at Zayn before glancing at Harry who glared at his. 

"This is Niall," Zayn said pointing behind him.

"Why don't you sit down with us?" Louis asked, ignoring the kick to his shin from Harry.

Of course, Zayn sat next to Harry, and Niall sat next to Louis. Harry tried to stay quiet as Louis drove the conversation. Harry felt like he was drowning in Zayn and it was doing horrid things to Harry's emotions. Harry knew he had to get a grip on himself, he just couldn't do it when all he could smell was Zayn's cologne. 

"You're quiet tonight," Zayn spoke into Harry's ear.

"Am I?" Harry asked, trying not to panic.

"Yeah, you alright?"

Harry simply nodded, if it was anyone else he would have admitted he was distracted by Zayn and his sick child but Harry didn't think he could be honest. 

"I do think you are stalking me so that has me worried," Harry teased. "I mean first the grocery store and now this? Do better Zayn."

Zayn laughed, his arm snaked around Harry's waist. "Can't help it, curly."

Harry felt himself blushing at the contact and the flirting. It was too much and Harry didn't think he was going to make it out of the night alive; especially with the look, Louis was giving him. 

"Zayn, you should go up there!" Niall yelled at his best friend.

"Nah, I'm good."

"If I did it, you should too," Harry grinned.

"Oh, what are you talking about?" Louis smirked. "You should sing with him."

"Absolutely not," Harry shook his head. "I've already done it once. What about you Niall? You sing with him!"

Niall laughed and shook his head. "No way, you guys got it."

Louis and Niall started chanting and Zayn was giving Harry this look and before he knew it, he was walking to the stage with Zayn behind him. Harry let Zayn pick the song and was more than surprised when he picked No Air by Jordin Sparks and Chris Brown. 

Harry couldn't handle the way Zayn was staring at him as he sang or the way Zayn worked the microphone like he was born to do so. The few times Harry glanced at Zayn, he could feel his stomach start to tighten and he willed it away. He could not handle this, he couldn't handle the flirting or the looks. 

When the song was over, Zayn threw his arms around Harry's shoulders and held him tight. 

"You're incredible, babe."

Harry's heart dropped and he had to get out of there. He pulled away from Zayn, he thought about complimenting him and telling him how his voice affected him but he couldn't speak. Harry walked away from Zayn and rushed outside, he felt the cold breeze on his skin and started to feel less anxious already. 

He pulled his phone out of his pocket and read the message from his mom that was delivered nearly half an hour ago. 

_Milo is running a fever and keeps asking for you. I've already given him a bath and children's Tylenol. What else do you want me to try?_

"Fucking hell," Harry muttered as he quickly sent his mom a text that he was coming to pick Milo up. 

When Harry turned around to go back to the bar and tell Louis goodbye, Zayn was walking towards him. 

"Hey, is everything okay?"

"No," Harry shook his head. "I mean yes, fuck," Harry breathed. "I have to go home my son is really sick."

"Oh I'm sorry, I hope he is okay."

"He will be. New teeth are coming in and it causes his body to kind of freak out," Harry explained. "Look, Zayn, I can't do this and I know there isn't really a this. I just," Harry sighed, trying to calm down so he could pull his thoughts together. "You're really cool and you're beautiful. You make me laugh and the few times I have been with you have been fun. But I can't handle the flirting or the touching or the looks. You don't want kids right now, you don't want to date someone who has kids and that's fine, I really get it. But I can't keep being around you and flirting and feeling like I can't catch my breath around you when it won't get anywhere. And like you're already under my skin a bit and I can't have that if you aren't in it for the both of us. Milo and I are a package deal. So I'm sorry," Harry breathed. "It was fun singing with you but I gotta go."

Harry left Zayn standing outside and quickly found Louis and Niall chugging beer. Harry quickly told Louis he had to pick up Milo and raced out of the bar, ignoring Zayn who was now smoking a cigarette. 

On the drive to his mother's house, he blasted the music through the speakers to drown out the thoughts in his head. He kept thinking about what he said to Zayn and how pathetic he sounded. He should have kept his mouth shut and left his answer that he had to pick up Milo. Louis always told Harry he was too honest for his own good and Harry always brushed him off. Tonight though, thinking about the way he admitted to Zayn that even the short amount of time he spent around him was driving him crazy, Harry felt like he had been too honest. 

When Harry arrived at his mom's house he made sure he turned the radio off before turning off the car so he didn't hurt Milo's ears. Anne helped gather Milo's overnight bag while Harry carried his crying son to the car. 

"Are you sure you don't want to stay here with him? I can help you."

"I know you can mom, I know. I just think if I can get him home and in his own bed and everything it might help. I'll call you if I need anything," Harry promised.

Harry drove home quickly and was thankful Milo stopped crying by the time they got to their house. Harry changed Milo's diaper and checked his temperature again, it was a little lower which meant the medicine was working. After discarding his clothes quickly, Harry grabbed Milo's favorite stuffed animal from Milo's room; a giraffe named Pete. Harry sat on his bed so his back was against the headboard and allowed Milo to climb on his lap and get comfortable against his chest. Harry softly rubbed Milo's stomach as he started to sing Milo's favorite song.

Milo was restless so it took some time but eventually, Milo finally settled down and started to fall asleep. Harry didn't dare move him yet so he grabbed his phone from his nightstand and texted his mom and Louis back reassuring them that Milo was fine.

Harry was confused as he saw he had a message from a number he didn't recognize.

_Hey, it's Zayn. I paid Louis five bucks for your number, hope you don't mind. I want to say sorry for the way I kept acting around you. I wasn't thinking. I know you have a son but when I saw you at the bar all I saw was this incredibly fit man whose confidence I wish I had. I just wanted to chat you up and flirt but like I said I wasn't thinking. It's not fair for either of us. I'm really sorry and I really hope Milo is okay. I remember when my little sisters got their teeth in and it was a nightmare. Take care, Harry._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Harry is so sensitive and already loves Zayn so much. Poor guy:( Let me know what you guys think! Be honest but nice, I'm sensitive.


	4. Don't Dismiss It

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm feeling reckless and figured I would post tonight. Also this chapter is pretty short and I didn't realize it until now. Will I change it? Of course not but I swear the chapters get better.

"So you charged Zayn Malik five dollars for my number?" Harry asked, sipping his tea that Louis made him.

It was the next day and Louis offered to help watch Milo for the afternoon. Harry agreed even though Milo was more lethargic than normal and was happy to watch movies. 

"Yeah," Louis laughed. "It was a joke but he really did it. I mean five dollars is five dollars."

"Did he tell you what I said to him outside?" 

"No," Louis shook his head. "What did you say?" 

"I might have freaked out on him a bit," Harry admitted, glancing behind him to Milo on the couch. "I just told him that I couldn't handle the flirting because it wouldn't go anywhere. I know it was probably too soon to say anything but I was buzzed and he was so close to me at the bar and," Harry sighed. "You know I get attached easily and I really can't handle it if he keeps acting like that around me."

"If I remember correctly, Styles, you were flirting back."

"Oh, absolutely I was. It wasn't all on him and I should have told him so. But I'm not crazy, right?"

"Not totally," Louis smiled. "I wouldn't mind an attractive man flirting with me without an end in sight but I understand why you can't. You are a hopeless romantic and you have Milo."

Harry breathed and nodded. "Right, yeah."

Harry heard Milo whimper so he got up from his seat at the kitchen table and walked over to Milo. Harry sat down by Milo's feet and picked him up so he was cradling him against his chest.

"Is it your mouth, sweet angel?"

"Yes daddy," Milo pouted. "Hurts."

"I know baby, I'm so sorry. Lou, can you grab the teething toy from your freezer?"

Louis returned to the living room with the toy and handed it to Harry before sitting down in the chair across from the couch.

"So what did Zayn say?"

"Hm?" Harry asked, rubbing his hands through Milo's hair.

"After your freak out, what did he say?"

"Oh, nothing. I left before he could say anything. He did text me but I haven't responded yet, I probably won't actually."

"Well what did he say?" Louis pressed.

"I don't remember, my phone is on the counter if you want to read it."

Harry kept running his hands through Milo's hair, hoping the combination of that and the soothing toy would help lull him off to sleep.

"Hm, that was a nice message. You should text him back."

Harry rolled his eyes. "That accomplishes the complete opposite of what I want to happen."

"Which is?" 

"To forget he existed. Now, Niall. You seemed to hit it off with him."

Louis scoffed. "Yeah too bad he's as straight as a plank of wood."

"Really? He was at the mixer though."

Louis shrugged. "I don't know about that. All I know is he is straight but he is fun. I enjoyed drinking with him. Maybe Zayn and him have more hot friends who are gay and want to date a hot dad."

Harry let out a loud laugh before covering his mouth with his hand. "Shit, is he awake?"

"No, you're good. But don't dismiss it. You'll find your princess or prince one day."

Harry rolled his eyes, making a show of thinking Harry was insane but it was a nice thought. A dream that Harry held close to his heart. 

Later in the evening after Harry put Milo to sleep for the night, Harry thought about what Louis said about texting Zayn back. He still felt like it would accomplish the complete opposite of what he wanted but he also felt like he owed Zayn an apology as well.

_To Zayn  
I can't believe you paid Louis $5, he's such a jerk. I wanted to say I'm sorry too, for freaking out on you last night. I feel like I was rude and abrasive. I shouldn't have just spilled my guts like that and I should also own up to flirting with you. It was easy to flirt back but like you said it's not fair for either of us. _

Harry scrolled through social media for a while until he was certain Milo had fallen asleep. He set Milo on the bed beside him and carefully got up and went to the bathroom. Once he was all ready for bed he walked back into his room and got settled in. His heart rate picked up when he saw a text from Zayn but he ignored it for a moment to make sure his alarm was set for the next day. 

_From Zayn  
He seemed pretty convincing that he needed the money or I wouldn't get your number. He must be a lawyer or something. Anyway, how's Milo?_

Harry knew it was a mistake to respond but Zayn asked a question and he didn't want to not answer him.

_To Zayn  
Louis is a daycare teacher, Zayn. You got played. And Milo is doing a little better. He was pretty down all day which isn't really like him. _

_From Zayn  
Tell Louis he owes me $5. _

_From Zayn  
I'm glad Milo is better, really._


	5. What A Dad Thing To Say

Harry sat against the back of his desk chair at work and checked his phone momentarily. He replied to Louis's texts about Milo and responded to his sister about meeting up over the weekend. His thumb hovered over the unread text from Zayn. He received the message hours ago but still hadn't responded to the request for lunch. They had been talking on and off for a few days and so far they have talked as just friends. Harry wasn't sure if meeting up with Zayn for lunch was a good idea.

When Harry got another frustrating email from his coworker about their current project, Harry knew some time away from the office would be wonderful.

_to Zayn  
Sorry it has taken so long, it's been a hectic day. If you're still free for lunch, I would love to meet up._

Harry stretched his arms over his head and focused back on his work, only smiling once when he saw Zayn text back an address to meet for lunch. An hour later Harry saved all his work, signed out of his computer and made sure he had his wallet and phone before leaving his office. 

"Fuck me," Harry muttered to himself as he parked and noticed Zayn sitting outside.

His hair was perfectly quaffed and he was wearing a vans t-shirt, black jeans and slip on vans. When he got close enough, Harry could smell Zayn’s cologne and Harry felt like he was going to pass out. 

"Hey," Zayn smiled. "Thanks for meeting with me for lunch."

"Thanks for inviting me."

Zayn opened the door for Harry and they were quickly sat down at a table. They ordered their drinks and Harry tried to resist the urge to glance at Zayn every two seconds.

"So do you work around this area?" Harry questioned, glancing up from his menu.

"No, I have to pick up some supplies from an art store."

"What do you do, by the way? We haven't gotten that far."

"I own Sunflower Paint, it's that-"

"The paint your own pottery place by the pizzeria? I've thought about bringing Milo there! That's awesome," Harry cut in.

"Yeah, I enjoy it quite a lot. What do you do? I mean this is a pretty business-ey area."

"Yeah," Harry chuckled. "I work at Delta, I'm a programmer. I help work on the back end of customer relations."

"Hm," Zayn nodded. "You're so grown up. A real job and a kid. I won't be surprised if you have a house with a white picket fence."

"It's not white," Harry mumbled causing Zayn to laugh. 

Their waiter came back with their drinks but left seconds later since neither man decided what to eat. 

"You know-" Zayn started to say but Harry lightly hit his menu with his own.

"Don't distract me or I will never pick."

Harry didn't miss the way Zayn smiled at him fondly but he tried very hard to erase the memory from his mind. After a few more minutes they finally ordered. Harry crossed his arms and set his elbows on the table and smiled at Zayn.

"What were you going to say?" 

"I've lost it now," Zayn told him. "You took so long trying to decide I forgot."

"Well it must have been a lie," Harry teased.

"What a dad thing to say," Zayn rolled his eyes. "Shouldn't you be able to read and listen at the same time? You have a toddler, it's like your job to be distracted constantly."

Harry pouted but laughed. "You aren't wrong but that doesn't mean I am good at it all the time. Besides I think my two year old knows how to be patient while I'm reading."

Zayn rolled his eyes again but he smiled. "How is he, by the way? Is he feeling any better?"

"Yes, thankfully. The teeth that were trying to break through finally did. The poor little guy was struggling so bad." 

"If he is feeling up to it, you should bring him by Sunflower Paint. I have connections you know. You wouldn't have to pay a penny." Zayn winked. 

"I've heard," Harry grinned. "When do you normally work?"

"Monday through Friday but I know that would be difficult for you since you work then as well. If you text me and let me know the weekend day you want to go, I'll make sure I'm there."

"You don't have to do that and I'm certainly not going for free. It's your business and I will support it."

Zayn rolled his eyes but didn't say anything since the waiter brought their food over. "Don't be like that. It won't be a problem."

"It might be a while before we can make it, he is still a little crabby and I say that with all the love in my heart."

Zayn laughed and stole a fry from Harry's plate, "Admitting your child is in a crabby mood doesn't make you a bad father, Harry. It just means you're honest."

Harry wanted to ask Zayn loads of questions about his job and how it came to fruition. He wanted to ask about his love of art and what it was like growing up. He wanted to ask so many questions that felt like first date questions. He swallowed all of them and kept conversation light and let Zayn lead the conversation. 

"Oh, Louis is trying to FaceTime me right now. Do you mind if I answer it? He works at the daycare Milo goes to."

"Of course not," Zayn waved him off. "Tell him he owes me five dollars."

Harry rolled his eyes and answered the phone, smiling instantly at Milo's face taking up the screen. "Hello sweet angel, are you okay?"

"Sad, daddy."

Harry frowned. "What's going on my love?"

"I miss you, daddy."

"I miss you too Mi. I'll see you in a few hours, you know."

Suddenly Milo was tearing up and the screen changed so Harry was looking at Louis. "He's okay Haz, he woke up from his nap a little sad. I convinced Sylvia to let me FaceTime you."

"How is he feeling?"

"Okay, he only complained about mouth pain when he tried to eat but we mashed it up for him and that went better."

"Okay, just keep an eye on it for me Lou. I'll pick up more children's Tylenol on the way home if I need to."

"I will. Are you out at lunch? I thought you hated eating with your coworkers."

Harry glanced at Zayn then Louis again. "Uh, I'm not. Zayn was in the area so we met up for lunch." Harry didn't like the look Louis was giving him so Harry continued. "He says you owe him $5 by the way."

"Yeah!" Zayn called from across the table, he grabbed Harry's phone from him. "Louis, you tricked me. I want my money."

Louis rolled his eyes and smirked. "Not my fault you fell for it mate. Hand me back to Harry, lunch time is almost over."

Once Harry had his phone again, Milo reappeared on the screen. His eyes were still teary and he was clutching onto Louis's side.

"Milo, I know you're sad and that's alright love, you know that don't you?" Milo nodded his head so Harry continued. "My love for you doesn't stop just because we are apart. Does it?"

"No daddy. Still love you."

"And I still love you sweet angel. I want you to try and have a good rest of the day okay? It's only a few more hours until I pick you up. Do you think you can be a good boy for Louis and Miss Sylvia?"

"Yes daddy, I be good."

"That's my sweet boy. I love you."

"Love you too daddy!"

Louis quickly pointed the phone towards him. "See you later Haz, have fun on your date."

"Louis! It's not-"

Before he could finish his sentence, Louis hung up the phone. Harry felt his cheeks were a dark red as he set his phone down and looked at Zayn.

"I'm sorry, Lou's an idiot."

Zayn shrugged. "I have idiot friends too. So Haz, huh?"

"Yes, it's a silly nickname. I don't even remember when it started."

"It's cute," Zayn smiled. "Oh shit, I'm sorry. I know we aren't doing that anymore."

"Well thank you, anyway. I should probably head back to the office though. My coworkers are being really dumb about this project we're working on."

Harry could tell Zayn was about to say something else but he shook his head and called over their waitress so they could pay. When they walked outside Harry desperately wanted to give Zayn a hug but he resisted and simply kept his hands in his pockets as he said goodbye. Harry watched as Zayn drove away and rested his forehead on his steering wheel. 

"Stupid fucking nickname making him call me cute, making this ten times harder," Harry muttered.

Harry finally sat up and started his car so he could go back to his office. He spent the rest of the day putting out small fires his coworkers created and trying to forget the way Zayn smiled at him.


	6. I've Missed You Too, You Know.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn’t realize this chapter was so short. My bad :(

“Up!” Harry told Milo who was still laying in bed even after the third time Harry told him he had to get up. 

“No,” Milo pouted.

Harry opened the blinds in Milo’s room so the early morning sun filtered in. Harry turned off Milo’s night light and started going through Milo’s clothes. He picked out an outfit for Milo; a brown t-shirt, a dark grey cardigan, jeans and little moccasins. Harry grabbed a new diaper and set everything on the floor before walking over to Milo’s bed. Harry sat at the corner of his bed and ran his hands through Milo’s curly hair. 

“Come on my love, we’ve got to see Mama today.”

“Mama?” Milo asked, opening his eyes.

“Yes my love, remember? You’re going to stay with her for a week.”

Milo sat up then, his eyes shining bright and a wide smile gracing his lips. “Mama!” he yelled. 

“I thought that might wake you up,” Harry laughed as he helped Milo get down.

Harry easily and quickly changed Milo’s diaper before changing him into his outfit. He fed his son some breakfast and set him up in front of the TV to watch some cartoons while Harry walked back to Milo’s room. Harry grabbed his small duffle bag from the top of his closet and filled the bag with a few of Milo’s favorite things that his mother’s place wouldn’t have. 

Despite not seeing Milo full time like Harry did, Elise had a room set up for her boy in his house. He had a full wardrobe, toys and anything else he would need there even if it didn’t get used much. Harry knew he didn’t have to pack much for Milo but he also knew Milo would miss his favorite stuffed animal and the coloring book he hasn’t stopped using or the harmonica he found in the bottom of Harry’s closet. Once he was all done, he texted Elise and told her they were leaving for the park in a few minutes. 

“Alright Milo, we’re going to the park!”

Milo let out a squeal and turned over on the couch so he could slide off it on his stomach. Once his feet touched the ground, he toddled over to Harry and smiled up at him.

“We go!” Milo cheered.

“Yeah,” Harry chuckled. “We go.”

Harry made sure he had everything for Milo quickly before filling up a sippy cup with water and grabbed his own bottle of water before stuffing them into his own bag. 

“Stay still, sweet angel.”

Harry locked the door behind him and readjusted everything in his hands before holding onto Milo’s hand and walking down the walkway and to Harry’s car. Harry put his things in the trunk before buckling Milo into his car seat. On the drive to the park, Harry put on Milo’s favorite playlist which was mostly filled with Fleetwood Mac and Joni Mitchell. When the pair got to the park, he held onto Milo on his hip even though Milo was asking to walk. 

Harry only had a few more minutes with Milo before he would go to his mother’s for a week and Harry wanted to soak up every second he could. When the front of the park came into view, Milo saw his mother. Milo’s little legs kicked against Harry’s hips and his little hands were reaching out for his mom so Harry finally set Milo down, who immediately ran into his mother’s open arms. 

“My little man, my, look how you’ve grown!” Elise smiled at her son and peppered his face with tiny kisses.

“Mama!” Milo giggled. 

Elise set Milo down and called after him to be careful as he raced towards the playset. Harry quickly gave Elise a hug before stuffing his hands in his pockets. 

“How was Germany?” Harry asked.

“It was good, I’m happy to be home. That’s for sure. I’ve missed him, I’ve missed you too, you know,” Elise nudged her elbow against Harry’s arm. “We need to catch up soon.”

Harry smiled at Elise and agreed with her and looked over at his son who was chasing after a pigeon. Harry often wondered if things were different, if Elise hadn’t gotten pregnant during their one night stand, if things had been different. There was no denying Elise was a gorgeous woman; with long black hair, kind hazel eyes and a beautiful skin complexion. She was incredibly smart, driven and witty. All characteristics Harry wanted in a partner. 

After confirming his paternity to Milo, they talked about trying to make it work between the two of them for Milo but they wanted different things. Harry wanted the dream family; he wanted to work and take care of the finances and let Elise work less and take care of Milo. Elise’s career as a journalist took off and suddenly she was needed all over the place. It wasn’t going to work. They hardly knew each other and hardly had time to get to know each other intimately. It was an easy decision to allow Harry to have primary custody of Milo and they worked out an agreement that worked for both of them.

Above all else, Harry was thankful they got along and there was no animosity between them. The sadness Harry felt for not having the picture perfect family dissipated and he eventually settled into the routine of being the sole provider for Milo. Elise was a wonderful mother, she was present enough that Milo never doubted her love and she allowed Harry to take the reins on Milo’s upbringing. 

Harry could feel himself beginning to feel sad so he turned to Elise and made an excuse to leave. He got her keys from her and transferred Milo’s things into her car before going back and saying goodbye to her and then to Milo.

“You sad, daddy?” Milo asked, his small hand touched Harry’s cheek.

“A little bit, baby. I’ll miss you while you’re away.”

“I’ll miss you,” Milo frowned.

“But you can call me whenever you want, okay? I know you’re going to have so much fun with Mama. Don’t think you can trick her into having your dessert before dinner.”

Milo grinned and stuck his hands behind his back, a habit he picked up from Harry. “No, no. I won’t.”

Harry grinned and wrapped Milo up in his arms. “I love you, sweet angel.”

“Love you daddy.”

Milo started to squirm in Harry’s tight embrace so he let him go and said goodbye to Elise one more time before going to his car. Once inside his car, Harry let out the tears he was holding back in front of Milo. He would only be gone for a week, Harry could handle that, he knew he could but that didn’t mean it hurt him any less. The first night away from Milo was always the hardest for him so before he drove off to his house, he texted Louis.

_to Louis  
Drinks tonight? _

_from Louis  
Fuck. Yes. _


	7. Perfect For One Night Only

Harry stared at his phone, the text thread he had with Zayn was pulled up but he couldn’t bring himself to text anything. Louis had been bugging him all afternoon to invite Zayn and Niall out to the bar tonight. He knew it would be fun and he knew Louis liked hanging out with Niall but he was nervous. 

_from Louis  
What did they say???_

_to Louis  
Haven’t texted him yet._

_from Louis  
Stop being a brat and do it! You guys are friends, right? I’ll make sure you don’t try and jump his bones. Come on, invite them._

Harry rolled his eyes and finally texted Zayn, telling him they were going out and he should bring Niall with him too. Harry set his phone down on the bed and silenced it, he was too nervous for the reply to keep his phone on him. Harry walked off to the kitchen and heat up his left overs from the night before, he wasn’t very hungry but he didn’t want to drink on an empty stomach. Once he was done eating, Harry turned off the tv and cleaned up his kitchen before going back to his bedroom. Harry bit his lip as he stared at his phone on the bed. With a sigh, Harry walked over to it and unlocked it. 

_from Zayn  
We’ll be there :) Mind if I bring my roommate? He needs to let loose too._

Harry smiled and quickly typed a reply before telling Louis they were going. Louis immediately texted back a string of exclamation points and clapping hands emoji’s. Harry rolled his eyes and tossed his phone on his bed again. He wanted to shower before going out and he wanted to make sure he looked good. This would be the first night in a long time that Harry didn’t have to ‘on’. 

The other times someone babysat Milo so Harry could go out, he always had to keep an eye on his phone. It wasn’t like Harry had anyone else to help since Elise was out of town for work. Tonight though, Harry knew Milo was safe with his mother and while he knew anything could happen, he pushed the thoughts to the side.

After his shower, Harry ran an anti frizz serum through his hair and got changed. He decided to wear a lavender sweater with his pearl necklace, black trousers and his boots. Harry ordered an uber and made sure he had everything he needed before waiting outside for it. When he got to the bar, he immediately noticed Zayn smoking with Louis. Zayn was wearing a deep red buttoned up shirt with black stripes on it, tight black jeans and black boots. His hair was perfectly quaffed as always and his facial hair was trimmed. A black leather jacket was slung over his shoulders and when Zayn brought the cigarette to his lips, closing his eyes before blowing out the smoke, Harry was positive he was going to pass out. 

“Harry!” Louis yelled when he finally came into view. “Look who I found!” He winked.

Harry swallowed the lump in his throat and gave Louis a hug. “Hey,” he smiled softly to Zayn.

“I don’t get a hug?” Zayn asked, eyebrow raised.

Harry wanted to say something witty but instead, he wrapped his arm around Zayn and shut his eyes tightly. Zayn’s cologne was encompassing Harry and the mixture of the cologne, the cigarette smoke and the feel of Zayn against his body was making Harry’s head spin. 

“Where’s Niall and your roommate? His name is Liam, right?” Harry asked once Zayn wasn’t drowning him anymore.

“Yeah, they’re inside. They found us a table,” Zayn explained. “So you’re out on the town, you don’t have Milo?” 

“No,” Harry shook his head. “His mom, Elise, is back in town so he is staying with her for a week.”

The look of confusion that flashed over Zayn’s face made Harry realize that he never spoke of her in front of Zayn before. He wanted to offer an explanation but he didn’t want to get into it tonight. 

“Well I’m going inside before you two can kill me with secondhand smoke,” Harry teased.

Harry took a deep breath once he was inside and told himself to calm down. He ordered a drink at the bar and went into search of Niall, once he found him he walked over to the table and introduced himself to Liam, Zayn’s roommate. One look at him and Harry knew Louis was going to be all over him. Liam was traditionally handsome and he looked a little bit like a puppy. He had short brown hair, big brown eyes and a kind smile. He looked innocent which was exactly Louis’s type. 

Eventually Zayn and Louis joined the other three and it wasn’t long until their conversations were overlapping and Louis was making countless sexual jokes and innuendos to Liam, who didn’t seem to mind. Harry had to often remind himself and his _nether regions_ that Zayn was off limits. It didn’t matter how attractive Zayn looked drinking beer or how sexy he looked when he rolled his eyes or the secret smiles between him and Liam. It didn’t matter that Zayn still found a way to touch Harry in little ways or compliment him in a way that wasn’t overt. Zayn was hands off. 

Zayn walked off to get him and Harry another drink when Harry noticed someone chatting to Zayn at the bar. The man was a bit shorter than Zayn and he was cute, Harry couldn’t deny that. He also couldn’t deny the jealousy that spread through his veins at the sight of the man making Zayn laugh. He watched as the man touched Zayn’s zap tattoo and he watched as Zayn winked and stepped closer to the man. 

“Harry,” Louis was close to him now, hand on his forearm, mouth close to his ear so he could hear. “Are you alright?”

Harry turned away from the pair at the bar when he saw Zayn toy with the man’s collar. “I’m fine, so good.”

“Harry,” Louis sighed and pushed Harry out of the booth. “We’re going to the bathroom, be back.” Louis dragged Harry to the bathroom and stood in front of him with his hands on his hips. “You’re not fine.”

“I need to be though, I’m not what Zayn wants and that’s okay. He can flirt and take a guy home all he wants, just like I can and I will.”

“Harry, you haven’t had a one night stand since Elise, you swore them off.”

“I won’t take a woman home,” Harry shrugged. “I can’t let Zayn get to me like this. He isn’t doing anything wrong. Now if you’ll excuse me, I am going to find someone hot to make out with.”

“I think you’re making the wrong decision,” Louis told Harry, holding onto his hand to stop him from leaving. “But you were always there for me the morning after my wrong decisions too. Please try and take care of yourself.”

“I will,” Harry nodded. “I need to get over Zayn.” 

The pair left the bathroom and instead of Harry rejoining the group, he walked around the bar until he found someone who piqued his interest. Harry walked up to him and smiled and offered to pay for his drink. The man was cute; he was as tall as Harry with short black hair and hazel eyes. He was dressed pretty smart and he didn’t smell like Harry’s favorite scent but he was kind and accepted the drink Harry offered to him. 

Harry talked to the man, faking interest and laughing at all the right times. It wasn’t that the stranger was boring or unfunny, it’s just that he didn’t have the same kind of humor as Harry. He wasn’t as easy to talk to as Harry would have liked. The stranger didn’t seem to have a creative bone in his body. Which was perfect. He was the complete opposite of Zayn. 

Harry dragged the stranger, Mike, over to his group of friends and sat down next to Niall and across from Zayn, who was alone. Harry thought he saw a twinkle in Zayn’s eyes when Harry introduced him to Zayn but Harry ignored it. Mike was awkward with his friends. Harry noticed the way he winced when Louis yelled and he couldn’t drink a beer as fast as Niall. He hardly answered Liam’s questions and when Zayn asked what he did for a job, Harry noticed Zayn trying to hold back his groan when Mike told time he was an accountant. 

Still, he was different than Zayn. Perfect for one night only. Harry flirted with Mike and as the night drew to a close, Harry agreed to go back to Mike’s place. Mike left the bar to order them an uber and Zayn caught Harry’s wrist in his hand.

“What are you doing?” Zayn asked Harry.

“I think you know what I’m doing, Zayn.”

“Why?” Zayn looked confused, and a little hurt.

Harry thought about his answer. He thought about how he could tell Zayn he was doing it to forget Zayn and to try and push past the lust he felt for him. Instead, he shrugged. 

“Because I haven’t gotten laid in years.”

Harry left Zayn standing in the middle of the bar and took a deep breath once the spring air hit him. He smiled at Mike, who didn’t make him as excited as Zayn did, and followed him into the waiting car.


	8. He Won’t Love Me Anymore

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is dedicated to @Basically_wat who broke her ankle last night!!! She probably won't read this because I sent her the whole fic the other day lol 
> 
> Either way, this is for Tori. Hope you feel better soon babe.

Harry felt awful. He was in a bad mood and he missed Milo a lot. He was able to facetime his son everyday since Saturday but that didn’t make up for the real thing. It was Wednesday so that meant he still had four days without his son and he was surely going to be in a poor mood until that day. It didn’t help that Harry felt extremely guilty and a little gross after his one night stand on Saturday night. In the middle of the night, after slipping out of Mike’s house and getting into an uber, Harry texted Louis and made him promise to never let Harry do that again.

Mike was nice and treated Harry well, the sex was okay but Harry wasn’t satisfied. He knew he shouldn’t done it but he just felt like if he could have sex with someone else, the want he held in his chest for Zayn would disappear. It didn’t work like that of course and Harry just felt pity for himself. On his lunch break Harry texted Elise and asked if the three of them could go out to dinner, he desperately wanted to see Milo, even if it was only for a few hours.

Hours later Harry was finally out of work and on his way to the restaurant Elise and him agreed upon. The second he saw Milo, he scooped the boy into his arms and placed kisses all over his son’s face. Milo yelled in delight and tried to push Harry’s face away but he nuzzled into Harry’s neck and allowed his dad to hold him as they sat down at a table. 

“So, tell me what you’ve been up to,” Elise told Harry, sipping on her glass of water. 

“Honestly, nothing. I mean I’m just working and taking care of this little one,” Harry said tickling Milo’s side. 

“No daddy!” Milo laughed. 

“You don’t have anyone special?” Elise asked, her eyebrows raising. 

“No,” Harry shook his head. He thought about telling her about Zayn but he didn’t see the point. “I don’t really have the time and the few times I did try, they didn’t work out. It’s fine, Milo is all I need. Right, sweet angel?”

Milo nodded and tried to get off Harry’s lap. “I color now, daddy.”

Harry set Milo down in the high chair and buckled him in before pushing the chair in closer to the table so the young boy could color on his kids menu.

“What about you? Have you found the time for romance amidst your travels?” 

“Actually,” Elise sighed as she played with the paper from her straw. “I have. It’s a coworker, his name is Adam. He’s really nice, ambitious and he has a great sense of humor. He always makes me laugh, unlike your terrible dad jokes.”

Harry put a hand over his heart. “My jokes are _not_ terrible.”

“Anyway, we’ve always been friends of course because of work and I kept him at a distance because of traveling and Milo. You know how it is, of course. He’s just proven himself time and time again. I finally agreed to go on a few dates with him and things are going pretty well. I want you to meet him. He hasn’t met Milo yet of course and he won’t until you meet him. I just wanted to tell you.” 

Harry wasn’t sure how he felt about Elise dating again, he was happy for her of course but it was a weird thought that at some point soon Milo would be introduced to a boyfriend. 

“I appreciate you telling me. I would love to meet him, when you think it’s right and then we can talk about him meeting Milo.”

“I can’t imagine he would meet Milo for a long while. I’m not ready for that yet. I see Milo so rarely as it is that I don’t want my time to be seperated, is that selfish?”

Harry rolled his eyes and placed his hand over hers. “It makes you a mom.”

Elise smiled and nodded. “Right, I’m sorry. That was silly. I’m thinking of talking to the newspaper about not traveling as much. I really miss Milo. I think it’s time.”

Harry’s heart rate picked up, he wasn’t expecting this from Elise. She always wanted to travel and she was thrilled when she got the promotion at the newspaper, she was ecstatic. Harry didn’t know what this meant for his time with Milo and the thought alone made him panic.

“Don’t look so scared,” Elise told him. “That won’t be for a while, I have a lot of projects lined up and everything. I’m not trying to take away your son, Harry.”

“I’m sorry,” Harry breathed. “I just didn’t think you’d ever want to stop traveling. Things would have to change, I know that.”

“Let’s not talk about it right now, I didn’t mean to make you anxious. I just wanted you to know where my mind was at.”

Harry agreed to change the subject but his mind was still reeling at the possibility of everything changing. He would never keep Milo away from Elise and he would work with her to find a new arrangement that worked for them. The thought of not having Milo with him most days of the year brought waves of anxiety coursing through his body. He did his best to keep it together for the rest of dinner and focused most of his attention on Milo anyway. After dinner, Harry gave Milo a tight hug and a big kiss on the cheek before he finally let him go and walked back to his own car, furiously calling Louis in the process. Louis didn’t answer, instead he got a text from him. 

_from Louis  
I’m on a date with Liam, everything okay?_

Harry knew he couldn’t tell Louis the truth, Harry would end the date and Harry would feel even worse than he did before. He texted Louis that everything was fine and he wished him well on the date. Before he could talk himself out of it, he called Zayn.

“Hey Harry,” Zayn spoke through the phone, his voice smooth and calm.

“Hi, are you busy?” Harry asked, starting his car.

“I’m at the store right now, one of my workers had to leave work early so I’m closing the store tonight. Why? Is everything okay?” 

“Damn,” Harry breathed. “Uhm, yeah everything is fine.”

“Harry, you don’t sound fine. Why don’t you come to the store? We aren’t busy at all.” 

“Are you sure? I don’t want to be a distraction.”

“You’re not, come by.”

“Alright, I’m on my way.”

Harry hung up the phone and tried to calm his racing heart as he drove but all he could think about was losing Milo and how selfish that was. He wouldn’t be losing Milo, he would be sharing Milo with his mother who had every right to see her son. What if Elise wanted full custody though? What if she wanted Harry to only see Milo every other weekend? The thought alone had Harry feeling like he was going to have a heart attack. He turned the radio on and turned it up to drown out his thoughts so he could at least get to Zayn’s. 

Harry parked his car in front of the building and closed his eyes as the silence and his tears hit him full force. The radio did little to calm his racing thoughts and he felt like he was going to explode. The sound of his phone ringing snapped him out of his daze.

“Harry, is that you that just pulled up?” Zayn asked through the phone.

“Yes,” Harry cried. 

“Hey, it’s okay. Look, I can’t leave the store because there are a few people in here so I can’t come get you. Please just come inside. You can sit in my office and calm down, please.”

Harry closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose before taking a deep breath. “Okay, I’ll be right in.” 

Before he could talk himself out of it, Harry left his car and kept his head down as he entered Zayn’s store. Zayn greeted him halfway in the room and put one hand on Harry’s forearm and the other on Harry’s neck. Harry watched with glossy eyes as Zayn looked him over before sighing and taking his hand in his and pulling him to the back of the store. Zayn made him sit down in the desk chair and walked away only to return with a bottle of water. 

“I have to go help that family but I’ll be right back, okay?” 

Harry nodded and accepted the bottle of water but he didn’t open it. Instead he left it laying in his lap as he zoned out. His thoughts show images of Milo’s room empty, images of Milo only seeing him every other weekend, Milo slowly forgetting about him and calling someone else daddy. Sobs raked through Harry’s body as he held his face in his hands. In the distance, Harry could hear Zayn talking and moving around Harry and trying to calm Harry down but Harry couldn’t hear. He couldn’t focus, he couldn’t do anything but cry. 

He wasn’t sure how long he was in Zayn's office for when he heard more people talking to him. His hands were slowly pulled away from his face and he saw Louis staring at him. 

“Hey,” Louis spoke softly.

“No,” Harry cried. “Your date, I’m fine. I’m fine.”

“You aren’t fine,” Louis told him. “It’s okay. I’ll explain what happened later. I think it’s time we get you home yeah?”

“No,” Harry shook his head. “No, can’t go home. Milo isn’t there, his room isn’t there.”

“Haz, Milo is with Elise but his room is still there.”

“Not for long, not for long,” Harry repeated, shaking his head as he stood up. “Milo is going to leave, he is going to find someone else to call him daddy. I won’t see him anymore.”

“Harry, that’s simply not true. What gives you that idea?”

“He won’t, he won’t love me anymore. There will be someone else, someone who gives him dessert before dinner and lets him watch too many cartoons during the day. Someone who can teach him sports,” Harry rambled, his hands tugging on his hair as he paced. 

“Harry!” Louis yelled loudly causing the taller man to wince and stop walking. “Babe,” Louis walked over to Harry and held his friend in his arms. “None of that is going to happen.”

“It is Lou,” Harry cried into his best friend's shoulder. “It is. Elise told me tonight she doesn’t want to travel, she found someone to date.”

“Oh Harry,” Louis sighed as he rubbed Harry’s back. “Elise would never take Milo from you and no one could ever replace you, you’re Milo’s daddy, only you. Now come on, let’s go back to my place. I’ll make you a nice cup of tea and get you to bed.”

“Work tomorrow,” Harry mumbled. “I can’t.”

Louis shook his head. “I’ll email both of our bosses, it’s fine. Now, come on.”

Harry let Louis hold his hand as they walked through the store. Louis took Harry’s keys from him and told Harry to sit in the passenger seat while he went back inside. From where Harry was sitting he could see Louis talking to Liam and Zayn. He watched as Zayn made eye contact with him, his facial expression unreadable. Another pang of guilt overtook Harry’s body as he watched Louis kiss Liam’s cheek before walking out of the store and into Harry’s car. 

“Alright love, let’s get you safe,” Louis smiled as he started the car.


	9. World's Best Grandpa

True to Louis’s word, he emailed both of their bosses and told each of them they were sick and couldn’t make it to work. When Harry woke up, Louis let him be silent as they drank a cup of tea and ate breakfast. It wasn’t until closer to noon that Harry opened up and told Louis about his dinner with Elise and Milo. Having the night to calm down and being able to talk to Louis about it, Harry was able to calm down. He was still nervous about the situation and it was hard for him to imagine a different life than he has now but as Louis said, it wouldn’t be for a while. 

Harry reminded himself that even Elise said it wouldn’t be for quite some time and that she wasn’t going to take Milo away from him. Harry let his anxieties get the better of him and he had to remind himself to calm down so he didn’t overthink it again. 

After the best friends got lunch, Harry went back to his house and showered and changed clothes. He thought about Zayn and how easy it was to call him and how willing he was to have Harry be in his space. He thought about how he texted Louis for help and didn’t ask questions and let Harry be. It meant a lot that Zayn was willing to let Harry go to his business and get Harry help that he desperately needed. 

Which was why Harry decided to go to the store and pick something out for Zayn. He didn’t want to get him a card because that felt too intimate and he didn’t know what Zayn liked to eat so he couldn’t get him a snack. Harry was about to give up when he passed by a beautiful pair of sunflowers. It was cheesy, Harry knew that but he couldn’t not get them for Zayn. After his purchase, Harry drove over to the store and tried to calm his nerves. 

“Hi,” Harry smiled at the woman sitting behind the desk. “I was wondering if Zayn was in.”

“Yes, can I have your name?” 

“Harry Styles,” he told the woman before stepping back and fidgeting with the stems of the flowers. 

Harry glanced around the room and smiled at the young kids painting with their moms. It made him want to bring Milo and see what kind of masterpiece he could create. 

“Harry.”

Harry turned around and smiled at Zayn; he was dressed down today, in a Bob Marley shirt, jeans, and vans. Still, he looked beautiful. Harry walked over to him and handed him the sunflowers. 

“These are for you,” Harry told him. “As a thank you for your help last night. I’m sorry I showed up in such a state. I really appreciate you letting me come here though and for reaching out to Louis.”

Zayn smiled and brought one of the sunflowers to his nose; it was such an endearing act and it went straight to Harry’s heart. 

“Thank you, Harry, these are really nice. Give me a second.” 

Harry watched as Zayn walked around the store and grabbed an unpainted vase before going to the small hand washing sink and filling it with water. Zayn motioned for Harry to follow him so he did and waited in the doorway as Zayn set the vase on his desk. 

“Why don’t you sit down?” Zayn asked, motioning for one of the chairs in the office.

Harry sat down and used his thumb and forefinger to tug on his bottom lip as Zayn took a sip of water before facing his direction.

“You don’t have to talk about it but are you alright?” 

“Yeah,” Harry nodded. “I’m okay. I just got some news last night that rattled a part of my brain that caused me to freak out. I haven’t had a panic attack in a long time,” Harry told Zayn. “I guess the last one was my first night alone with Milo but that was ages ago by now. I’m sorry again for showing up like that. I'm sure it was off-putting.” 

“You don’t have to apologize and it wasn’t off-putting. I feel bad that I didn’t know what to do and just called Louis. I figured he could help you better than me.”

Harry smiled at Zayn and shook his head. “You allowing me to come here was enough, seriously I really appreciate it. I called Louis first but he was on his date and you were the next person I called,” Harry admitted. 

He felt like it wasn’t the right thing to say, maybe it was too much for their friendship but then Zayn smiled and smelled his flowers again. 

“I’m happy I could help. I think I’m ready to take a break though, do you want to walk down the plaza to Starbucks with me?” Zayn asked. 

“Of course I do.”

Together they walked down to Starbucks; Zayn ordered an americano and Harry ordered a vanilla bean frappuccino, completely unashamed. Zayn teased Harry the entire walk back and did not believe that Harry only ordered the drink because of Milo. 

“There is no way,” Zayn laughed, holding the door open for Zayn.

“Stop drink shaming me, Zayn,” Harry laughed. “I didn't shame you even though that’s an old man drink.”

Zayn rolled his eyes and smiled at Harry. “Whatever man. I have more work to do. You can stay and paint something for yourself or Milo or you can hang out in the office with me or you can leave. It’s up to you.”

“I’ll paint something but I’m paying for it.” 

Zayn rolled his eyes and went over where everything was for him before walking off to his office, not without stopping by the receptionist. Harry could have sworn he heard Zayn tell her not to let Harry pay but he couldn’t be certain. Harry walked around the store and tried to find something he wanted to paint. Finally, his eyes landed on the perfect figurine. It was a stout old man with a shirt that said world's best grandpa. Harry carefully took it off the shelf and walked over to one of the desks and started painting the figurine, making sure he took his time and didn’t mess it up. Once he was done he carefully picked up and walked over to the receptionist. 

“I’m done,” Harry grinned. 

“Alright, fill out this form and we’ll call you when it’s done. You don’t need to pay, Mr. Malik took care of it for you and he said if you try to fight him, he would hurt you.” 

Harry laughed and looked down at the paper to fill out but instead of his own information, Harry put Zayn’s name and his cell phone number. The receptionist eyed him carefully when he handed the form back to her but he just grinned at her and handed over his figurine. He didn’t know what to do now, he didn’t know if could walk to the back or if he should just leave. Harry decided to go back to the table he was at before and text Zayn and let him know he was done and should head home. Minutes later Zayn was walking up to him, arms crossed and looking rather upset. 

“What’s wrong?” Harry asked standing up.

“World’s Best Grandpa?” Zayn asked.

Harry laughed and shrugged. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Zayn rolled his eyes and brought Harry into a hug, which knocked the wind out of him. “You’re an idiot.” All too soon Zayn’s arms weren’t around him anymore and Harry was left craving Zayn’s touch. “Thanks for stopping by though and the flowers.”

“And the figurine,” Harry grinned.

“I thought you didn’t know what I was talking about?” Zayn smirked to which Harry just smiled at him. “Seriously though, I’m glad you stopped by. I was really worried about you but I didn’t know when or how to reach out. But you can call me anytime you need me, okay? I know I’m not Louis and I may not know how to help but I’m willing to learn.”

Harry felt his chest tighten and he desperately needed to leave Zayn’s presence so he could catch his breath. “Thank you Zayn, I really appreciate that. Now get back to work and you better not do anything to my little grandpa.”

Zayn rolled his eyes and pushed Harry’s arm. “I won’t. Goodbye Harry.”

“Goodbye Zayn,” Harry mimicked Zayn. 

Harry grabbed his empty Starbucks cup and threw it away before leaving the store. He hoped he would have felt lighter than he did going inside. Driving back home however, Harry felt a tight knot in the center of his chest that had Zayn’s name written all over it.


	10. Rude, daddy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have the day off today, I found out I'm getting a new mattress and I had mickey waffles for breakfast so clearly today is going to be a good day and I figured I would update a little early. Not to mention I am working on a Zayn/Niall fic and I can't post it until this one is completely updated. 
> 
> Plus this is one of my favorite Milo chapters. Oh, also thank you to @hopefulMPH for making me realize I never gave a description to Milo. I hadn't even noticed and since I created Milo and I found a picture to inspire him, I didn't think about describing him. So I'm sorry that his description is out of nowhere and seems out of place, I should have noticed it beforehand.
> 
> And thank you for all the kind comments, I'm shit at replying but I really appreciate everyone's feedback. I'll do better and responding.

Harry took the Monday following Milo’s stay with his mom off so he could spend time with his son. Sunday was spent listening to all of Milo’s stories from the week before. The stories were choppy and didn’t make much sense but Harry could tell Milo had a good time. Monday morning though Milo was acting a little different. He was clinging to Harry’s side and he was constantly holding onto his favorite blanket that he slept with every night. Harry walked out of the kitchen and looked at Milo laying down on the couch. The small boy was overtaken by blankets and his favorite toys were at his feet. Milo's long brown hair was a mess of curls sprayed over his face and the pillow he was leaning on; when Elise told Harry she was pregnant, Harry was hopeful Milo would get his curls. Milo got Elise's hazel eyes but he was lanky for his size, which both parents assumed meant Milo would grow as tall as Harry, but he hoped not taller. Harry sat down on the couch and ran his hand through Milo's hair, pushing it out of his face and kissing his chubby cheek.

“What’s going on bub?” Harry asked, caressing Milo's side. “You seem sad.”

Milo shrugged his little shoulders and moved so he was sitting on Harry’s lap. “Missed you.”

Harry frowned and kissed the top of Milo’s head. “I missed you too sweet angel. I thought about you every single day you were gone.”

“Really?” Milo asked, moving so he could look at Harry.

“Most definitely. I couldn’t wait for you to come back so we could have breakfast and dinner together.”

“And bath time!” Milo yelled, throwing his arms over his head.

“Yeah,” Harry smiled. “Bath time is your favorite, isn’t it?” 

“Yeah,” Milo giggled.

“We’re going to have an extra special bath tonight. I got you some new bubbles.”

Milo’s eyes went wide and he dropped his blanket, for the first time in twenty-four hours and clutched Harry’s shirt in his hands. “Really?”

“Would your daddy lie to you?” Milo was silent for a moment before shaking his head no. “Of course I wouldn’t. Now, I was going to bring you somewhere special over the weekend but if you’re a good boy and eat all your lunch then we can go today.”

Milo gasped and scrambled off of Harry’s lap. “I do good!!”

Harry got off the couch and helped Milo into his highchair and snapped the food tray onto it before making quick work of Milo’s lunch. He made him a sandwich, cutting it into little pieces for him to eat better. He also cut up some cucumbers and carrots for him to eat. True to his word, Milo ate every last bite of his lunch and didn’t protest at all when Harry changed him out of his pajamas. 

On the drive to Sunflower Paint, Milo requested 'Mac' which made the young boy sing along to Fleetwood Mac songs. It was complete gibberish but Harry could listen to Milo sing all day long. When they got to the store, Milo was very confused but when Harry explained it to him his squeals filled up the entire room. While Milo walked around the room with Harry hot on his heels so Milo couldn’t break anything, Harry quickly texted Zayn.

_to Zayn  
You at work today?_

_from Zayn  
Yeah, I’m working on paperwork. I’m so bored I could die. Entertain me._

_to Zayn  
Well come out here and I’ll do that._

Harry pocketed his phone and watched as Milo continued to look around. Harry turned to the side just as Zayn was coming down the long hallway and smiled at him. The smile that instantly graced Zayn’s lips was enough for the knot in Harry’s chest to tighten ever so slightly.

“Hey,” Zayn greeted Harry with a hug. “What brings you in today? I thought you had to work.”

“It’s my first full day with Milo since he’s been at his mom’s so I took a personal day. Figured I’d bring him here.”

“I’m glad you did.”

“Daddy!!” Milo yelled pointing to a princess figurine. “Pretty! Want, want!”

“Can you say please, my love?” Harry asked, kneeling down.

“Please daddy,” Milo tugged on Harry’s pants leg. 

Harry picked up before grabbing Milo’s hand. “Milo, do you remember Zayn? You met him at the grocery store a few weeks back.”

Milo looked up at Zayn and waved. “Hi Z.”

“Hey Milo” Zayn crouched down. He was more eye level with Milo. “it’s good to see you again. Are you excited to paint today?”

“Yeah! Daddy paint and you paint, too?”

“Oh honey,” Harry smiled. “Zayn owns this place so he has to work.”

“I have time,” Zayn smiled up at Harry. “Unless you want it to be just the two of you.”

Harry shook his head. “The more the merrier.”

Zayn looked back at Milo and smiled at him. “Do you want to help me pick out mine too?” 

Milo nodded and pulled his hand from his dad’s and held Zayn’s hand as they walked across the store. Harry sat down at one of the tables and quickly took a picture of the pair before simply watching them. Zayn was so good with Milo and he knew it was because Zayn mentioned having little sisters and owning a business that deals with children. Yet, Harry’s heart yearned for it to be more than that. Eventually Milo came running towards Harry with Zayn behind him holding out two figurines. 

“I picked one out for you,” Zayn grinned.

Harry looked at the figurine in front of him and couldn’t help but laugh. It was similar to the one Harry painted for Zayn, except it was a woman and it said worlds best grandma. 

“I love it,” Harry grinned. “What did he pick for you?”

Zayn held up a frog which made Harry question his son on his choice. Milo stared at Harry like he was an idiot. 

“Cause the princess has to kiss the frog,” Milo explained. “You look like a frog.”

Harry’s jaw dropped and Zayn laughed loudly before putting his hand over his mouth to try and stifle his laughter. 

“Milo,” Harry laughed. “Since when do I look like a frog?”

“You know,” Milo shrugged. “Uncle Lou says cause you have a big mouth.”

Zayn couldn’t contain his laughter anymore and even Milo joined in although he was too small to understand why he was laughing along. 

“I am never letting Louis babysit again,” Harry said, laughing as well. 

“Rude, daddy.” 

“You called me a frog!” Harry laughed, picking up his son from his seat and tickling his sides. 

“To be fair,” Zayn grinned. “He said you looked like a frog, not that you are a frog.”

Harry glared at Zayn and threw a paintbrush at him. “Not helping!” 

Harry finally let Milo sit back down in his own seat and forced Zayn to go pick out the paints for them to use. While Zayn was gone, Harry rolled up Milo’s sleeves and then his own. He knew Milo was going to make a mess no matter what but he wanted to minimize it to the best of his abilities. 

Zayn was the first to finish, which didn’t surprise Harry in the slightest. Harry was helping Milo when he could, he didn’t want to take too much control and cause Milo to feel upset he wasn’t doing it himself. It meant Harry’s grandma figurine was neglected. 

“Hmph, I can’t do it!” Milo cried as he tried to carefully paint the princess’s face. 

“Yes you can love,” Harry encouraged. “You just have to take your time.”

“No, brush too big.”

Zayn moved from across the table and sat next to Milo. “Here, Harry, let me take over. Milo, I’m going to help you, okay?” 

Milo merely nodded and allowed Zayn to move the brush in his hand so his fingers were only inches from the bristles. Zayn wrapped his hand around Milo’s hand and carefully brought the brush to the princess’s face and painted it a lovely shade of blue. Harry wanted to take another picture of the two but he didn’t want to distract them since they were both concentrating very hard. Since Zayn was helping Milo now, Harry got to work on his own grandma. Milo and Zayn got down before Harry was done so with Harry’s permission, Zayn scooped Milo up and walked off to the back of the store. 

Harry finally finished his figurine and got the papers from the receptionist and filled them out with his information before handing her all of their paintings. 

“If you want to go find them, you can,” the woman told him. “He obviously knows you.”

“Okay, thank you.”

Harry walked down the hallway and checked Zayn’s office first, noticing the grandpa figurine on his desk. Harry kept walking and found a room with shelves lining the walls and a giant kiln in one corner. Milo was sitting on Zayn’s lap and listening intently as Zayn explained what the machine was. Harry stayed in the doorway as Milo asked a multitude of questions, Zayn patiently answering each one. The knot in Harry’s chest tightened as he watched Milo yawn and rest his head on Zayn’s shoulder. Zayn used his free hand to run his hand through Milo’s curls and mutter something about finding Harry.

“Holy shit, Harry,” Zayn gasped when he turned around. “You scared me. How long were you standing there?”

“Not long,” Harry lied. “I see you made a friend.”

Zayn smiled and looked down at Milo. “Are we friends Milo?” 

“Yes.”

Zayn grinned and looked at Harry. “I suppose I did.”

Harry took Milo from Zayn then, explaining that it was time for Milo’s afternoon nap. Zayn walked the boys to their car and waved goodbye to Milo, promising he would see him soon. 

“You’re really great with kids,” Harry told Zayn as he opened the car door.

“What can I say?” Zayn smiled. “I have a gift. Text me, yeah?”

Harry nodded and closed the door and waved at Zayn one last time before driving back home. Milo had fallen asleep in the car during the drive so Harry carefully got him out of his carseat and tucked him into bed, making sure to leave the door open before going to his room to gather any laundry he needed to do. Just as he was about to go downstairs, he received a text from Zayn.

_from Zayn  
If it counts for anything Harry, you are a very cute frog. _


	11. Sent That To The Wrong Person

"Louis, I can’t. As much as I want to go to your lads night, I have Milo and I'm not going to ship him off to Mom's or Gemma's just for a lads night."

Harry could hear Louis grumbling through the speaker but Harry was too distracted to fully pay attention. 

"Louis," Harry cut off Louis's ramblings. "I have to go. I'll talk to you later!"

Harry used his knuckle to hang up the phone and got back to work on scrubbing the walls. Harry should have known better. He should have known not to set up a poster board on the wall and let Milo color it. Because now he was on his hands and knees desperately trying to rub the crayon off. If it wasn’t for the late time, Harry would have called his mom for advice because Google wasn't giving him anything good. 

Harry's knees hurt and he made a sex joke to himself before falling back on his ass and starring at the wall. With a sigh, Harry dropped the magic eraser in his hand and picked up his phone again, this time calling Zayn

"Harry! Have you changed your mind about lads night?" Zayn asked through the phone.

"No, look I have a weird question. I would normally call my mom for this kind of thing but she's bound to be asleep by now."

"You ask your mom sex questions?" Zayn giggled, he fucking giggled and it went straight to the knot in Harry’s chest.

"No, fucking hell Zayn," Harry laughed. "Are you already drunk?"

"Nah," Zayn replied. "Although Niall and I did pregame a bit. So what is your question, mate?"

"Do you know how to get crayon off walls? I thought you might know since you work with kids all day."

"Louis works with kids all day too," Zayn stated.

Zayn was right, of course he was. Harry hadn't even thought to ask Louis for help because all he could think about was Zayn.

"You have baking soda, right? Use a damp cloth, rub it in the baking soda and scrub the crayon. Or if you have non-gel toothpaste, put that on the crayon and use a scrub brush to clean it then rinse the wall with water. Or if you have WD-40, spray that on the wall and wipe it with a clean rag."

Harry sighed and closed his eyes. "Thank you, Zayn. Have fun tonight and don't get too wasted, I can’t rescue you."

"Wish you could," Zayn says and then hangs up.

Harry stared at his phone, his mind going hazy and his chest tightening. Wish you could, repeats in his mind on a loop as Harry walks to his kitchen to get his supplies. _Wish you could_. The crayon eventually came off the wall so Harry texted Zayn, thanking him for the advice before cleaning up the mess he made. Milo had done a decent job of cleaning up before bedtime but there were still a few things left for him to clean. 

Once everything was all clean Harry checked on Milo before going to his bedroom. Harry stripped off his clothes and scrolled through his Spotify playlists to find the perfect one to listen to while he showered. Harry's breath caught in his throat as a text from Zayn popped up on his screen. He watched as the notification disappeared and thought about what to do. From what Harry could see in the notification, the text was clearly meant for someone else. Harry tried to think of a way to delete the message before he could read it. 

Harry opened his iMessage app and hit the edit button to delete the thread of texts from Zayn. His thumb hovered over the delete button before he hit the back button and clicked on the thread.

_from Zayn  
Wish you were here. Maybe not here in this shit bar with too many people but next to me. No one else is as pretty as you. No one else I want to kiss more than you._

Harry put his hand on the bathroom counter, he didn’t think he could stand on his own. His heart hammering in his chest was louder than the music coming from his phone and he kept rereading the message that wasn't for him. Wish you could, replayed in Harry’s mind and he shook his head. Zayn was tipsy when he said it and he was drunk now. Maybe Zayn couldn't remember the just friends agreement they made but Harry remembered. 

_to Zayn  
Sent that to the wrong person. Drink some water and get home safe, I'll check in with you tomorrow to make sure you aren't dead._

Harry locked his phone and turned away from his reflection in the mirror; he was afraid to see how upset he truly looked. 

-

Unfortunately for Harry, the second Milo opened his eyes he was a little ball of energy and wanted Harry’s undivided attention and Harry gave it to him willingly. They sang along to Queen as Harry made breakfast and Harry watched Peppa Pig with Milo in favor of doing dishes, they could wait until Milo went to bed. For lunch Harry brought Milo to McDonald’s so he could play on the playset and Harry waved at Milo every single time Milo called him from the top of the slide. When they got back home, instead of staying awake during Milo’s nap, he held Milo close to his chest and they fell asleep on the couch, Peter Pan playing softly on the TV. Milo wanted pizza for dinner and since Harry had already foregone vegetables for the day, he agreed. The smile on Milo’s face as he cheered and ran around in circles was worth it. 

When Milo went to bed Harry finally started doing the dishes and cleaning up the living room for the fort they made earlier in the day. Now that Harry didn’t have Milo to distract him, Harry’s mind travelled to Zayn and wondered if he was doing okay. He wondered if Zayn was embarrassed by the late night text and Harry wished he wouldn’t be, he wished Zayn would have texted him back so he didn’t feel so whipped when he texted him again.

_to Zayn  
Are you alive? I was planning on checking on you earlier but I got busy._

It took longer than Harry would have liked for Zayn to text him back but he wasn’t constantly checking his messages, of course he wasn’t. 

_from Zayn  
Yeah, I slept most of the day so it’s okay that you didn’t text earlier. _

_from Zayn  
I’m sorry for last night by the way._

Harry reread the texts sent from Zayn, something seemed off with them. Harry debated on calling Zayn out on it but he figured Zayn was too hungover and Harry didn’t know Zayn well enough to feel the right to call him out. Instead Harry texted back, wishing him well and went back to doing his chores. Harry was curled in bed, an hour later and scrolling pointlessly through instagram with his eyes half closed when he realized he wasn’t going to get a text back from Zayn.


	12. We Try

Not hearing back from Zayn was the reset that Harry needed to remind himself that he couldn’t be around Zayn for very long. He should have never gone to Zayn’s after dinner with Elise and he shouldn’t have brought him fucking flowers or started an inside joke and he shouldn’t have brought Milo around Zayn because everyday since last Monday, Milo has been asking when he can see Z and paint again. It’s too much and it was the reason he didn’t want to have Zayn around in the first place. He let Louis get in his head and he reached out to Zayn and now Harry was already attached and Milo thought Zayn was his friend. 

Harry was in the middle of picking up Milo from daycare when his phone rang, his brows furrowed at the unfamiliar number but he answered it nonetheless. It was the receptionist from Sunflower Paint letting him know that his and Milo’s figurines were ready for pick up. Harry thanked the woman and cursed quietly. He didn’t want to pick them up on a weekday, he didn’t want to chance seeing Zayn. But there was a policy that if they weren’t picked up within three days, they would be thrown away and Harry knew Milo would be devastated. 

“Daddy!” 

Milo’s voice brought Harry out of his daze so he quickly pocketed his phone and opened his arms to catch Milo. Harry set him on his hip and kissed Milo’s forehead.

“How was your day, bub?” 

“Good! We painted! Not as fun as Z though. We go see him?”

Harry’s heart twisted in his chest. “We have to pick up our figurines today but I’m not sure if he will be there. He’s very busy, you see.”

Milo nodded. “We try.”

Milo started kicking his legs against Harry’s hips so he set Milo down and accepted Louis’s hug when he got close enough. 

“He’s been asking about Zayn all day. I didn’t think Zayn could have that kind of affect on a two year old,” Louis grinned.

“I know,” Harry sighed. “I wish he didn’t. I haven’t talked to him in days.”

Louis looked confused as he crossed his arms over his chest. “I thought you talked to him Saturday night.”

“I did, I mean I called him for advice but then he uh, texted me something that wasn’t meant for me and then I checked in with him the next day but he seemed distant. We haven’t chatted since.”

“That’s weird. Saturday night he was going on and on about how he was going to text you and make you regret not going with us. Hm, whatever. I’m sure it’s nothing, Harry.”

“It has to be,” Harry told Louis. “I should go though, we have a few errands to run before we head home. See you tomorrow.”

Harry buckled Milo into his seat who was very eager to see his creation. Harry didn’t think he had ever heard his son talk so much than the drive to Sunflower Paint. Harry loved it of course, he loved hearing Milo talk even if most of it didn’t make sense. There was a short period of time where Harry was worried Milo was never going to talk. He had to take him to a speech therapist because his pediatrician was worried. Eventually Milo started to talk and Harry thought he was quite good at it, though he could be biased. So even though Harry didn’t understand everything his son was babbling about, Harry loved the sound.

“Hold Daddy’s hand please,” Harry told his son as they walked into the store. “Milo,” Harry laughed as his son walked faster and tried to drag Harry behind him. “Slow down love, they aren’t going anywhere.”

When they got to the reception desk, Harry greeted the woman and told him her name. She disappeared down the hall and Milo managed to weasel his way out of Harry’s hold on him. Harry watched carefully as Milo stood next to Harry but turned around to look around the store. The woman came back with a bag and it distracted Harry enough that Milo was able to slip away and walk down the hall. Harry only noticed when he heard Milo call for Zayn. Harry’s head snapped up and he caught his son walking down the hall, just past the wall.

“Shit,” Harry put the bag down and ran after Milo. 

“Z!!” Milo called again.

“Milo!” Harry yelled just as Zayn walked out of his office, standing in the doorway but not moving or saying anything. 

Before Milo could get to Zayn though, Harry reached him. He put his hand on his son's shoulder to stop him and stood in front of him and then knelt down. 

“Milo Edward,” Harry spoke sternly, his brows furrowing. He could tell Milo was getting upset, he knew when daddy said his middle name he was in trouble. Harry couldn’t let Milo’s pout get the better of him. “You mustn’t walk off from daddy, ever.”

“I, I, just find Z,” Milo said, his lip quivering. 

“I know you wanted to see Zayn today but you can’t go wandering around places like this Milo. This isn’t your home. This is Zayn’s business, he could be busy. You can’t walk off without daddy. Do you understand?” 

Milo was crying now but he nodded his head. “I’m sorry daddy, no trouble.”

Harry sighed and wrapped his arms around his son. “No trouble, Milo.” 

“I see Zayn?”

Harry sighed and glanced behind him where Zayn was still standing, Zayn smiled and nodded. “You can but do you remember what I told you?”

“No walking off without you and no, no wandering without you.”

“Good boy, now you can go see Zayn.”

Harry moved away from Milo and watched, the knot in his chest restricting, as Milo ran towards Zayn who scooped him up and held him close to his chest. Harry couldn’t hear but Zayn was saying to Milo but he saw Milo smile and Zayn wiped away Milo’s tears. With a sigh, Harry walked over to them and scratched the back of his neck feeling awkward in front of Zayn. 

“I’m sorry about that,” Harry apologized. 

“It’s okay,” Zayn smiled. “He’s welcome back here at any time,” Harry opened his mouth to say something, to protest because that is not what he told his son but Zayn kept talking. “When you allow it, of course.”

Harry relaxed and nodded but didn’t say anything, he didn’t know what to say. He still felt a bit awkward by how things had changed over the weekend. As always, Harry was too honest with himself and seeing Zayn made him realize how much he missed talking to him even if it had been five days. 

“I’m sorry I didn’t reach out to you,” Zayn said sitting down in his desk chair with Milo still on his lap. “I had a terrible hangover Sunday and I was embarrassed by the text. Then my mom texted me, she thought my little sister was going into labor but she isn’t due for a while. I was really stressed because I was worried for my sister and I didn’t know if I was going to have to go home. Once she goes into labor I’m dropping everything and buying a plane ticket. So I couldn’t really handle texts from anyone. It turned out fine, it was braxton hicks but I was still stressed so I ignored everyone.”

“I didn’t realize your little sister is pregnant, that’s exciting. You’re going to be an uncle,” Harry grinned.

“Yeah, I can’t really believe it. None of us can, really. She’s still young, only nineteen. My mom flipped out for a long time and now is so excited to have a grandbaby,” Zayn rolled his eyes. 

“Young doesn’t translate to being a bad parent,” Harry told Zayn, lightly kicking his vans with his own boots.

“You’re right, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean anything by it.”

Harry shrugged and watched as Milo traced his little hand over Zayn’s tattoos, like Milo always did with Harry’s tattoos. “It’s okay. I was mostly reassuring you.” 

Zayn smiled but didn’t say anything back to Harry. Which Harry didn’t mind, his mind was reeling over the fact that Zayn hadn’t purposefully ignored Harry. Well he had but it wasn’t personal. Zayn dipped his head down and started whispering to Milo again, whose head perked up and nodded aggressively. 

“We’re going to check out the art that is drying, we’ll be back.”

“I’m not invited?” Harry asked, smiling softly.

“No daddy,” Milo told him. “Z said it was for best friends only.”

Harry didn’t have time to react because Zayn was walking down the hall with his son in his arms and Harry knew he was too far gone to stop it.


	13. Don't Give Me That Look

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A big thank you to Tori for giving me the nickname Zayn uses for Milo. This is one of my favorite chapters, I hope you guys like it!

Harry didn’t know what he was doing and why he thought it would be okay to allow Milo to invite Zayn over to their house. Milo invited him when they picked up their figurines and when Zayn agreed, he thought Zayn was just being kind. He received a text from Zayn in the middle of work the day before asking when he should come over on Saturday. Harry was dumbfounded and part of him wanted to tell Zayn he was busy, he had plans with his family. He didn’t, of course, because he liked hanging out with Zayn and he knew Milo did too. Harry wondered if Zayn liked hanging out with Milo too; Harry wondered if Zayn’s laughter with his son was real or if Zayn actually liked talking to Milo about paint in a way Zayn could understand.

Harry responded with a time though and now he was running around his house and making sure it wasn’t too big of a mess. The only problem of living with a two-year-old was the lack of discipline that came with not cleaning. Harry spent most of his time cleaning after Milo and he didn’t mind of course but he was looking forward to when Milo was old enough to help out or at least be conscious of the mess he was constantly making.

“Z?” Milo asked from his spot in front of the window where he had been standing for the last half hour. 

Harry checked his phone and put it back on the kitchen table. “Not yet, bub. He’ll be here soon.”

Zayn was late and Harry was a little worried, he didn’t want Milo to be disappointed. He already had a small speech prepared for when Zayn showed up, if he showed up at all. Zayn would never be prepared for the speech Harry would give him if Zayn didn’t show up at all. Harry lost track of time as he loaded the dishwasher for the second time that day when suddenly he heard Milo’s squeals. 

Harry dried his hands on his pants and walked for the front entryway. He peaked out the windows and saw Zayn struggling to get out of his car. Harry picked Milo up from where he was standing at the door. Harry opened the door and had planned on holding Milo until Zayn got close to him but Milo’s legs were kicking Harry’s hips quite harshly. Harry watched as Milo ran into Zayn’s waiting arms and his heart tightened when he heard Zayn talking to Milo.

“I’m so sorry I’m late, peanut. I had to run to the store and the traffic was rough.”

Harry knew Milo didn’t understand everything Zayn told him but Harry was thankful anyway. It made the anger he felt towards Zayn for bailing dissipate. He walked over to Zayn who still hadn’t let Milo down and grabbed the bags he had set on the ground. Harry led Zayn and Milo inside where Zayn finally set Milo down who was instantly dragging him towards the stairs so Zayn could see his room. Zayn looked over at Harry for reassurance so Harry just smiled and nodded. 

“Do you want me to make you anything to drink?” Harry called after them.

“Tea would be great, love!” Zayn called down the stairs. 

As Harry filled the tea kettle, he wondered what Zayn had brought with him. From what he understood, Milo just wanted to play with Zayn and he assumed they would use what Milo already had. 

“Slow down Milo and hold my hand. We don’t want you tumbling down the stairs, do we?” 

“No, Z!” Milo giggled.

Harry closed his eyes momentarily and grabbed two mugs from the pantry; one that says worlds best dad and another that has a rainbow that says no one knows I’m gay, both were gifts from Louis of course. Harry turned away from the stove and smiled at the sight of Zayn holding onto Milo’s hand. 

“Did you show him your room?” Harry asked.

“Yeah! He said he liked my stars.”

“Ah, yes. They are very neat, aren’t they?” Harry smiled.

“Very neat,” Milo nodded before trying to drag Zayn to the living room.

Harry chuckled and walked over to Milo. “Sweet angel, Zayn is going to be here for a while you don’t have to pull him.”

“Wanna show him all my toys,” Milo pouted.

“I know you have so many cool toys,” Harry reassured. “But what will he look at the next time he comes over? So why don’t you pick out your top three okay?”

“Oh boy, daddy.”

Milo already looked confused by his decision as he walked off into the living room. Harry stood back up just as the kettle started to ring. 

“He gets a little eager,” Harry smiled at Zayn as he grabbed two bags of earl grey tea from the cupboard and poured the hot water into the mugs. 

“I don’t mind,” Zayn smiled. “It’s really cute. I am sorry I am late. I was going to come straight over but then I had this idea and I had to run to the art store and I didn’t give myself enough time.”

“You’re lucky Milo likes you so much because you nearly got in trouble,” Harry smiled at Zayn. 

Zayn shifted so he was closer to Harry and Harry could tell by the look in his eye that he was going to say something that would make Harry dizzy and he was right. 

“Oh no, are you going to put me in time out?” Zayn pouted. “Or maybe a spanking?”

Harry let out a very embarrassing groan and stepped away from Zayn. “That, Zayn Malik, was completely uncalled for and you know it.” 

Harry meant for his tone to be harsh, similar to the one he uses when Milo is in trouble. Judging by the chuckle that leaves Zayn’s perfect lips and the sparkle in his eye, it didn’t have the intended effect. 

“Peanut,” Zayn called into the living room. “Did you pick the toys you were going to show me?” 

Harry was screwed, he knew that from the moment he saw Zayn in the bar and he was reminded again of the last time he saw Zayn but now, now that Zayn had a pet name for his son, there was no hope for Harry’s heart. Harry knew Milo was safe with Zayn, which was another scary truth Harry knew, he texted Louis. 

_to Louis  
I’m in deep shit. _

_from Louis  
Fuck, what did you do????_

_to Louis  
I let myself have feelings for Zayn._

Harry turned his phone on silent so he wouldn’t hear the reply from Louis. Instead, he set his phone down and finished making his and Zayn’s tea before going into the living room. Milo was sitting on Zayn’s lap and was showing him three toys that were his favorite. The second Zayn saw the rainbow mug he laughed and shook his head but he didn’t say anything, most of his attention was on Milo. After Zayn drank his tea and Milo was eager to see what Zayn brought him. 

“Okay, I’m going to show you but there are a few rules.”

Milo had turned around in Zayn’s lap so he was sitting with his tiny legs around Zayn’s waist and his hands clutching the hem of Zayn’s shirt. “I be good! Best boy! Daddy says so!”

Zayn glanced over at Harry and smiled before turning back to Harry. “Okay, rule number one is to have fun!”

“Easy,” Milo giggled.

“Rule number two, you have to listen to me. You think you can do that peanut?”

“Yes!”

“Rule number three, you will have to take a bath after.”

Harry wasn’t concerned about the activity until Zayn said that. Harry leaned forward and rested his elbows on his thighs. “Pardon?” 

Zayn simply grinned and kept going with the rules and repeated them back to Milo before he stood up and instructed Harry to grab the bag from the kitchen. Harry would never admit to Zayn that he liked being bossed around so he rolled his eyes. 

“Manners, Zayn. You cannot be a bad influence on Milo, Louis is enough.”

Harry still grabbed the bags and handed them to Zayn who riffled through them and teased Milo for cheating when he tried to look in the bag. Zayn pulled out a plain white shirt that was going to be way too big for him. 

“Alright, I need you to go with daddy and change into this shirt, okay?”

Milo clambered off of Zayn’s lap, holding onto the shirt tightly and ran to his dad. “Come on daddy! Hurry! Hurry!”

Harry resisted the urge to roll his eyes. “Zayn’s not going anywhere bub, we have time but come on, we should take your clothes off in your room so we don’t make a mess.” 

It was quite the struggle to get Milo to stand still while Harry changed him and honestly, Harry should have made Zayn deal with it. Once Milo was in his shirt that engulfed him, Harry brought him back downstairs. The front door was open so he walked outside and saw Zayn setting up a giant tarp, securing it down with rocks from the yard. 

“What on earth are you doing?” Harry asked Zayn.

“Teaching your son the importance of art. It’s supposed to be fun and messy.” 

“Oh god,” Harry sighed. “You’re trying to make my life more difficult.”

“Nope,” Zayn grinned. “Hence the tarp and the shirt that is allowed to get messy. I would help with the bath but that seems like I’m overstepping.” 

Harry scoffed and watched as Milo peered into the bags again. “Depending on the mess he makes, you will be helping. You are about to let a two-year-old make a mess. I’m not so sure you know what you’re getting yourself into.”

An hour later and Harry was trying not to laugh at the way Zayn was completely overwhelmed by the mess Milo was making. To Milo’s credit, he was listening very well to Zayn and he was following the first rule best; he was having a lot of fun. Zayn bought a few smaller canvases and finger paints, letting Milo go crazy on the canvases, on himself, and unfortunately on Zayn as well. Even though Harry could tell Zayn was overwhelmed, he kept his cool around Milo and at times it seemed like Zayn was having more fun. 

“Alright, I think we’re all done!” Zayn told Milo, stepping back and looking at their creations. 

“All done?” Milo frowned. 

“Don’t be sad, peanut. We can do it again one day.”

Milo smiled at that and ran off towards Harry, obviously not caring about the cleanup. Harry held his hand out for Milo and shook his head. “Oh no, you don’t, mister. You have to help Zayn clean up.” Milo frowned but he walked back off and helped Zayn to the best of his abilities. 

“Is there somewhere I can put these so they dry?” Zayn asked, holding the two canvases carefully in his hands. 

“Yeah, I’ll open the garage.”

Harry opened the garage using the keypad and moved a few things off of a cabinet and motioned for Zayn to put them there.

“Milo Edward! Don’t you dare go into that house yet!” Harry called from the entrance of the garage. “I have to get that messy shirt off of you.” 

Harry turned away from Milo and looked back at Zayn who honestly looked like a mess as well. His clothes were covered in paint, his hair had paint, his arms, his neck, his cheeks, and his forehead were all covered. 

“I might have to get that messy shirt off you too,” Harry winked at Zayn, whose jaw dropped. “Don’t give me that look. That was payback for the comment in the kitchen. Now come on, you have to help with bathtime.”

Harry figured Zayn had had enough of dealing with Milo’s mess and even though Milo loved bath time and he generally behaved, Harry feared the presence of Zayn would be too much for the little boy. Instead, Harry showed Zayn how to use his shower and let him borrow some clothes while the bath in the guest bathroom filled up for Milo. Harry sang for Milo in the bath and played his most favorite games and definitely did not think about the fact that Zayn was currently naked in his bathroom. 

Once Milo was clean and changed into his pajamas, even if it was a little too early for them, Harry brought him back downstairs and checked the time; it was dinner time. He didn’t know if Zayn would be staying for dinner and he hoped he would. Harry made sure Milo was settled in the living room watching Peter Pan while Harry went back to the kitchen to figure out what they were going to eat for the night. Harry heard Zayn’s footsteps coming down the stairs and then the kitchen so he prepared himself to ask Zayn if he wanted to stay. What he wasn’t prepared for was the sight of Zayn right out of the shower.

His hair was wet and messy instead of being perfect. His old Rolling Stones shirt was just a little too big on him and the sweatpants he let Zayn borrow enveloped him completely. Harry didn’t know it was possible for someone to look so endearing and sexy at the same time.

“You okay?” Zayn asked, smirking.

“Yes, peachy. Are you staying for dinner?” 

“Sure, I would love to.”


	14. Milo Isn’t Going Anywhere

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just wanted to say a few things today that aren't related to this fic at all. 
> 
> Firstly, Black Lives Matter. Today, yesterday, always and I am so sorry to anyone who has been made to feel less than due to the color of their skin. 
> 
> Second, due to health problems I cannot protest and it is making me so sad that I can not stand with my community to protest this gross injustice. If you are like me and cannot go outside, please know advocating in your friend and family circle matters. If you are able to donate, do so. Sign petitions.
> 
> Lastly, my social media and the people I follow has turned into activism which is incredible and so important. What is also is important is taking care of your mental health. I do not believe we are made to withstand the constant stream of news and videos and photos. It can be really traumatic and triggering. If you need to take a day or two and stay offline know that that is okay. 
> 
> This fight is going to last for a long time and we need to be mentally prepared so we can fight.

Knowing that Milo was watching Peter Pan with Zayn allowed Harry to take his time with preparing their dinner. Cooking and baking always allowed him the room to breathe and realize that he allowed Zayn to flirt with him and he flirted back. Harry allowed himself to be swept up in Zayn and how easy it was to be with him, how good it felt to be around someone he desired. It was a dangerous game Harry played today and he couldn’t allow himself to think about it. If Milo really was growing attached to Zayn and if Zayn was willing to be Milo’s friend, then Harry had to get it together. He needed to dial it back and he needed to remind Zayn as well. They were friends, that was all they were and they could be. 

When Harry was done cooking, Harry set Milo in his high chair and started to help feed him. Milo was mostly okay eating by himself but one of Harry’s biggest fears was Milo choking on his food so Harry helped him still. 

“Why don’t I do that so you can eat?” Zayn asked, setting his fork down. 

“It’s okay,” Harry smiled. “I’m used to it.”

Zayn rolled his eyes. “That’s not what I asked babe. You should be able to eat your food while it’s warm.”

Harry pursed his lips and tried to calm down. Zayn was being kind, he was being flirty and didn’t realize Harry needed him to pull back again. Harry needed to be nice, he didn’t want to ruin Milo or Zayn’s perfect day because he couldn’t keep his heart in check. 

“Really,” Harry smiled. “It’s okay. I would much rather you eat your food while it’s warm. Please, eat. You don’t want to offend the host, do you?”

Zayn didn’t look like he wanted to concede but he sighed and picked his fork up and started eating. Zayn finished eating first and immediately started to clean up. Harry protested and nearly begged for Zayn to stop but Zayn promptly ignored him and kept cleaning. When Milo was done eating, Zayn walked off and grabbed a coloring book and crayons for Milo. 

“Down?” Milo asked.

“Not yet peanut,” Zayn smiled. “We’re going to color right here with daddy while he eats so he isn’t lonely.”

“Daddy lonely?” Milo asked Zayn. 

“Not if we sit here and color.”

Harry’s heart lurched again but he swallowed it down with his food and stayed quiet as Zayn helped Milo color. When Harry finished eating, he stood up to clean his dish but Zayn stopped him.

“Let me, please.”

Zayn’s hand is on his and his eyes are pleading, begging Harry to let him do this small act so Harry concedes and takes Milo out of his chair and holds him close. 

“I’m going to get him to bed, I’ll be right back. Milo, I want you to say goodnight to Zayn and thank him for playing with you today.”

Harry set Milo back down and watched as Milo hugged Zayn’s legs and whispered a thank you and then goodnight. Harry scooped his soon back up and sang him a lullaby as he changed his diaper and turned all the lights off except his night light before tucking him into bed. Harry read a Curious George book to Milo before he kissed the top of his forehead and left his room, leaving the door ajar. 

When Harry got back downstairs Zayn was wiping down the table and all Harry wanted to do was kiss him and thank him for being so gentle with his son and allowing Milo to be creative and silly and fun. Instead, Harry disassembled the high chair and tucked it away in the corner of the room and went to the living room to clean up. 

“Harry,” Zayn whispered. 

Harry turned around to face Zayn, his arms filled with toys that Milo brought out earlier. “Yes?”

Zayn sighed and walked up to Harry, he ran his hand through Harry’s long hair and smiled softly at him. Harry could see every beautiful eyelash that graced Zayn’s cheekbones as he blinked. He could see the green tint to Zayn’s eyes and he could smell nothing but his favorite scent. 

“Zayn,” Harry whimpered and took a step back. “I can’t. You’re beautiful and you’re so good with Milo, you’ve become his best friend. You make my head spin and you do things to me that I haven’t felt in years,” Harry confessed. “You let me slip today, you let me flirt and you let me think for a second this could be something. It can’t. Milo isn’t going anywhere, you don’t want the responsibility of dating a father and I can’t handle wanting you so bad when you’re around. You can be friends with Milo, we can be friends but you can’t make filthy jokes with me in my kitchen and you can’t call me babe. I promise I’ll be strong and I won’t flirt back, I’ll make sure I have my guard up. I just can’t.”

Harry always felt like he could read people, it was a skill he developed once he had Milo. He felt like he had to be able to read people so Milo wouldn’t get hurt. Staring at Zayn in the lowlight of his living room, for a split second it looked like Zayn’s heart broke before he stood up straighter and nodded. 

“You’re right, I slipped today and I let you slip. I said I wouldn’t do that anymore and I let the easiness of the day take that away from me. I’ll do better I swear and no matter what I won’t leave Milo, we’re best friends.”

Harry shook his head, he wanted to tell Zayn he couldn’t swear like that, he couldn’t make that promise but he bit his tongue and nodded. Harry didn’t speak up as Zayn helped Harry clean up and when Zayn left for the evening, instead of reaching out for a hug, Zayn kept his hands in his pockets and muttered his goodbye. 

-

“Harry, you look like shit.”

Harry scoffed and glared at Louis. “Well good morning to you too, Louis.” 

“What happened this weekend?” Louis asked, taking Milo’s backpack from him as he ran off to see his friends in his group. 

“Zayn and I slipped up,” Harry sighed and before he could continue his thought Louis was hitting him in the chest.

“You had sex and you didn’t tell me?” Louis hissed.

“No! God, Louis, no,” Harry rubbed his chest where Louis slapped him. “If you would have let me finish, I was going to tell you that we only flirted and made a few jokes. It was fun, it was easy and cute and he looked so at ease playing with Milo but,” Harry sighed.

“He doesn’t want kids.” 

“Yeah,” Harry sighed. “He was going to kiss me after I put Milo to bed but I didn’t let him and told him we had to be just friends. I can’t do anything else and I don’t even know how I’ll manage that but I’ll do it for Milo’s sake.”

“Harry,” Louis frowned. “I know you don’t like to do this with Milo because Elise is always gone but you know you could say Zayn left, he moved or something. He doesn’t have to see Zayn again, they don’t have to have playdates or anything.”

“I won’t tell Milo that Zayn moved away but you’re right, I shouldn’t have Zayn over alone like that. It was too much and maybe he was fine with it, clearly he was if he was going to kiss me but I can’t. Maybe that makes me a big softie or whatever but I can’t.”

“It’s okay,” Louis smiled and rubbed his hand on Harry’s forearm. “It’s really okay. You’ll be fine and if Liam or Niall wants to get everyone together soon I’ll just say you can’t because of Milo or I’ll say I can’t.”

“You shouldn’t hold back on your friendships because I’m a hopeless romantic.”

Louis grinned. “Well you’re right about that but I’m also your best friend. It’ll just be until you’re over Zayn, promise. Maybe you can call that Mike guy again,” Louis teased.

Harry rolled his eyes. “Yeah right. I gotta go. I’ll talk to you later.”

“Keep your chin up, Harry! You’ll be fine!” Louis called after Harry.

Harry knew Louis was right, it would be okay and this wasn’t the end of the world. Harry hoped he was just being melodramatic about all of this and he wasn’t in as deep as he felt like he was. He could keep Zayn at a distance, he could turn Zayn into an acquaintance and he could regain the control he once had over his emotions.


	15. It Was All Over

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my favorite chapter :( The whole thing with the plane ticket, I used the little knowledge I had for when my dad worked at Delta and checked flights. I could have asked him for help but I didn't want to admit I was writing One Direction fanfiction lmao
> 
> I hope everyone is having a good day. Remember that Black Lives Matter. Keep protesting, signing petitions, having discussions and being kind. Love you all.

It had been a few weeks since Zayn had gone over to Harry’s to paint with Milo and things were getting a little better. Harry didn’t reach out to Zayn and Zayn didn’t reach out to him, an unspoken commitment between them. When Harry hung out with Louis, he could tell Louis had hung out with Zayn but Louis didn’t let anything slip and for that, Harry was grateful. Harry wasn’t grateful, however, for the few run-ins he had with Zayn at the grocery store. Harry had tried to steer clear but if Milo spotted him, it was all over. Zayn was perfect, as always, he talked to Milo like no time had passed and he asked Harry how he had been like friends do. It was fine, it was easy.

Harry needed time with his best friend and his mother wanted to keep Milo for the night so Harry agreed to let Milo stay over. He bought a bottle of wine and went straight to Louis’s house. They were in the middle of watching reruns of Grey’s Anatomy when there was a knock on Louis’s door. Thinking it was the pizza, Louis jumped up and answered the door but his face fell and Harry had a bad feeling. 

“What are you guys doing here?” Louis asked as Liam kissed his cheek and walked into the apartment, followed by Niall and Zayn.

“Liam told us you were hanging out with Harry and we hadn’t seen him in a while so we decided to crash, make it a lads night,” Niall grinned as he hugged Harry.

Harry kept his eyes on Zayn who smiled apologetically at him, letting him know with his eyes that this wasn’t his suggestion. Louis greeted his friends before going over to Harry.

“I’m sorry, I can make them leave.”

“Don’t,” Harry shook his head. “I’m fine.” 

Liam and Niall made themselves comfortable while Zayn awkwardly hovered in the doorway until Niall yelled at him to sit down. Zayn sat down on the floor beside Harry’s feet making Harry’s heart race. As the minutes ticked by and the pizza arrived and was split between five people unevenly, Harry could feel himself relaxing. It was fun to be around the group and he missed how well they all fit together. 

It had been a few hours and Harry needed to use the bathroom so he excused himself, careful not to step on Zayn and disappeared down the hall. When Harry exited the room he let out a gasp at the sight of Zayn standing right in front of him.

“Fuck, you scared me,” Harry put a hand over his heart. 

“I’m sorry,” Zayn apologized. “I don’t like this Harry. You said we could be friends but you stopped reaching out. You hardly talked to me at the store. That’s not friends, that’s acquaintances.”

“You’re right,” Harry nodded. “You’re right and I’m sorry. I just needed room to breathe.”

“Have you had enough? Because I’ve missed hanging out with you and I don’t mean that in any type of way. I know where the boundaries are. I think we make really good friends.”

“I do too,” Harry admitted. “I’ll stop being stupid.”

“You’re not being stupid, you needed room to breathe and so did I but I’m good now. Are you?”

It was the first time there was ever a hint from Zayn that was more than flirtation and it nearly made Harry choke. Harry didn’t think he could speak so he nodded instead, thankful for Zayn’s phone going off to disrupt their moment. 

“What? Mom? Are you serious? It’s not like last time, how can you be sure? Her water broke? Oh fuck mom, I don’t need to know that. Yeah, yeah I’ll be there as soon as I can. I’ll text you when I get a ticket. Yeah, yeah I love you, tell I love her. Okay bye.” Zayn hangs up the phone and looks at Harry with tears in his eyes. “I’m going to be an uncle, Harry.” 

Before Harry could stop himself, he pulled Zayn into his arms and hugged him tightly. He didn’t say a word as Zayn cried into his shoulder and clutched Harry’s t-shirt in his fists. When Zayn pulled away, his eyelids were red and puffy and he looked frazzled.

“Fuck, I need to buy a plane ticket.”

“Wait, don’t do anything yet.” Harry grabbed Zayn’s hand in his and pulled him into the living room. “Zayn’s going to be an uncle!” Harry announced. “He has to leave as soon as possible. Liam, I need you to go back to your place and pack Zayn a bag, I’m sure you know what he clothes and everything he needs. Louis, go to my car and get my work bag. Zayn, take a deep breath and get your ID out of your wallet.”

“What about me!?” Niall asked, his smile wide.

“Go help Liam! Now go go go!” Harry chanted. 

In a matter of seconds Niall and Liam were running out the door with Louis right behind them. Harry set Zayn on the couch and rubbed Zayn’s back. 

“It’s going to be okay,” Harry reassured him. “She’s going to do great and you’re going to be such a good uncle. Take a deep breath, I can feel how stressed you are.”

When Louis returned with Harry’s work bag, Harry logged into the delta website and looked up the flights for the evening. He found a flight that would depart at one a.m, there were sixty seats available and only two people on stand by. Harry checked the time and realized they could easily get Zayn to the airport by then. 

“What are you doing?” Zayn asked Harry, after Harry asked Zayn a series of questions. 

“Buying you a buddy pass. It’s not a guaranteed seat but it’s a hell of a lot cheaper than buying a plane ticket right now. The flight is wide open and I am going to keep an eye on it for you the entire way to the airport so I know you’ll be fine. When you know the day you’re coming home let me know and I’ll do the same thing, okay? Now, how do you spell your middle name again?”

Harry turned towards Zayn when he didn’t respond but instead of Zayn talking, Zayn’s lips were on his own. It’s a short kiss, just enough to say thank you and Harry understands. He smiled and swallowed the pain and repeated the question. 

“Okay, you’re booked in and I’m going to go ahead and check you in. Download the Delta app right now though so it’s easier to board,” Harry instructed. “Your family is going to be busy and you’ll arrive by about 4am,” Harry muttered as he opened up a new tab for a rental company. “Okay sorry, one more time babe, I need some more information.”

Harry had enough points with a rental car company that he paid next to nothing for the rental car Zayn was going to be using. Zayn didn’t protest or make a fuss that Harry paid for the plane ticket or the car but Harry knew he was thankful and he knew Zayn would pay him back. He was too distracted right now to worry about anything. When Niall and Liam showed back up, Harry hugged Zayn and watched as Louis hugged him as well and walked his friends to the door. When the door closed, Louis walked over to Harry and allowed him to collapse into his arms, tears coming on fast and strong. 

True to his word though, Harry kept an eye on the flight and gave Zayn regular updates even though there wasn’t much to tell him. Except when he saw that Zayn was cleared for a seat, he quickly texted Zayn and made sure to tell him that he needed to talk to a gate agent. Harry sent Zayn one final text telling him congratulations before shutting off his laptop and curling into Louis’s side again.


	16. You'll Let Me Know About The Rest

Harry had just finished cooking dinner for Milo when his phone started going off. He saw Zayn’s name flash across the screen and he scrambled to answer it. He hadn’t talked to Zayn since he said goodbye two days ago.

“Zayn,” Harry breathed. “How is everything? How’s your sister? How’s the baby?”

“Hi Harry, my sister is doing really well. She’s recovering nicely, she left the hospital this morning and the baby, she’s doing really well. Her name is Maya.”

“Maya,” Harry sighed. “What a beautiful name. Tell her I said congratulations. Oh a new baby,” Harry sighed. “I miss the newborn stage. It’s a struggle and I didn’t think I’d ever survive but it’s a blessing,” Harry sighed again and wiped at his eyes. “I’m a mess, I’m sorry. Babies do that to me.”

“You’re fine, Harry. I was wondering if you had time to talk? I really want to talk to you.”

Harry bit his bottom lip as he looked at the food that was ready to be served. “I’m actually about to eat dinner with Milo. If it’s urgent I can stay on the phone.”

“No, it’s not urgent. Can we talk tonight though? Please?”

“Yes, yes of course. Really quick, do you know when you’re coming back? No rush of course, I was just wondering.”

“Uhm, I was thinking in a few days? I want to help my mom and everything. I don’t mind buying a real plane ticket though Harry.”

“Don’t be silly. I’ll look at the flights tomorrow while I’m at work and see what they look like and text you. I just wanted an idea. I miss you,” Harry admitted before he could think about it.

“I miss you,” Zayn sighed. “Call me tonight, after Milo is asleep.”

“I will, bye Zayn.”

When Zayn hung up, Harry downed a cup of cold water to bring him back down to earth. He was anxious to hear what Zayn had to say. He was anxious because he admitted he missed him and while he said that kind of thing to Louis, it was different with Zayn and they both knew it. Harry held onto the countertop to steady himself and counted to ten before calling Milo into the kitchen for dinner. 

-

Harry had put Milo to bed an hour ago but he was stalling. He knew Milo was going to be out like a light and unless he had a nightmare, he would stay asleep. Harry was nervous though and he was afraid of the phone call with Zayn. He had to get it over with though so he dialed Zayn’s number and laid on his bed as he heard Zayn pick up.

“Harry,” Zayn sighed.

“Hey,” Harry smiled to himself. “How are you holding up?”

“I’m okay, I’m a bit overwhelmed to be honest. Which I know isn’t fair. I didn’t just push a baby out of my vagina but my sister, she’s in a lot of pain and Maya isn’t latching properly and,” Zayn sighed. “I’m sorry, that was too much.”

“Please,” Harry laughed. “None of that was too much, I’m a dad Zayn. I’m well aware of the things that take place after childbirth. It’s okay that you’re overwhelmed. It’s a crazy time. I can’t imagine how you feel seeing your sister like that. But it’ll get better, it’ll get worse before it gets better but it’ll be worth it. I swear.”

“I trust you,” Zayn sighed. “Is peanut asleep? How is he doing?”

“Yeah, he’s asleep and he’s good. They had field day at the daycare today so he is completely wiped out. I showed him a picture of Maya you sent me and he thinks she’s the most beautifullest baby he’s ever seen, his words exactly.”

Harry's chest tightened as Zayn sighed loudly. “God I miss Milo so much.”

“He misses you too,” Harry admitted. “So, what did you want to talk about?”

“Something happened when I held Maya today, nothing bad I promise. Fuck, I’m starting off all wrong,” Zayn rambled.

“Hey,” Harry interrupted. “Take a deep breath, it’s alright.”

“Right, so I was holding Maya and I couldn’t believe I was staring down at such a beautiful baby. I used to always cringe when parents called their kids a blessing but I get it, you know? Maya is a blessing and I get why you call Milo sweet angel. I want kids so much.”

Harry’s breath caught in his throat and he tried to calm himself down. “You knew that though, Zayn. You told me on our first unofficial date at the bar.”

“I know and I always knew that I would want kids someday and it hit me how stupid I have been. I have been waiting for the right time or the right guy or the right time to sell my business to support a family. But I’ve been so blind because I met someone who has a kid, a really wonderful fucking kid who is so funny and creative and has the same eyes as his dad. I met someone who is funny in that dad humor kind of way and is witty and flirts back in just the way that it turns me on. I met someone who is generous enough to buy me a plane ticket and a rental car,” Zayn laughed. “I mean, what the actual fuck, Harry? I was so zoned out that night and the second I was on the plane, it hit me what you did. I’ll pay you back of course but you didn’t even fuss over getting my credit card, you just did it. You’re so selfless, Harry. 

I don’t know what happened that night in my office because even though you let yourself flirt and you let me in, you’re still so guarded and I fucking get it. I mean you have to be for Milo’s sake. But I want in, Harry. I want to know what happened that night and I want to learn how to calm you down from a panic attack. I’m tired of pretending like I’m not totally in love with you or Milo. I know it’s a lot, I know you have to protect him and yourself. I’m not asking for you to commit right now but I want you to reconsider.” 

Harry felt like he couldn’t breathe, his head was spinning and his vision had gone blurry. Zayn was confessing everything he ever wanted to hear and Harry couldn’t process it. He couldn’t believe what Zayn was telling him. It felt too good to be true because what could possibly have changed in the span of two days? 

“It’s a lot Zayn. It’s not just finger painting in the front yard or coloring after dinner. It’s saying no even though Milo is begging and pleading. It’s giving him a punishment even when he says no trouble. It’s staying up late at night when he is sick or waking up in the middle of the night because he is puking. It’s early mornings and having to be really awake and pretending to be happy. It’s long weeks of cranky moods because his mouth hurts. It's a constant worry because anything could happen at any second of the day. It’s a constant overwhelming love because there is this tiny human in the world that depends on you. You can’t just have the flirty Harry or the good mood Milo, you have to want the raw and the vulnerable too.” 

“I want it all,” Zayn told him. “I want it all Harry. Whatever you are willing to give me, I’ll take it. We’ll go slow, we’ll be friends but with the intent to date. I’ll do whatever it takes. Please, Harry.”

Zayn was begging again and it was doing something to the knot in Harry’s chest and his semi hard cock. Harry let out a shaky breath and nodded, even if Zayn couldn’t see him.

“Okay,” Harry sighed. “You know I want you Zayn, I’ve wanted you since the moment I saw you but it’s not about just me and I know you know that but it’s about Elise too, Milo’s mom. I have to talk to her. She,” Harry sighed. “The night I went to you. I had dinner with her and Milo because I was missing him so much and she told me about a guy she has been dating, she wants me to meet him before he meets Milo. Obviously you’ve already met Milo but I have to talk to her. If you’re going to be in Milo’s life in that capacity I have to talk to her.” 

“Okay, okay I understand. I’m not trying to take her place, Harry. I’m not trying to be Milo’s step dad. I mean obviously over time that would be fucking wonderful but I know the boundaries.”

Harry sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “Okay.” 

Harry didn’t know what to say, there was so much he wanted to say and yet, nothing could come out. He wished Zayn was with him so he could kiss him and that felt like the lighter truth he could say. 

“I miss you,” Harry told him. “I wish you were here. I would even let you kiss me, for real this time.”

“Fuck I want that so much. I’ve wanted to kiss you for so long.”

“It’ll be worth the wait,” Harry smiled. “I hope so anyway.”

“Please,” Zayn chuckled. “With that frog mouth, of course it’ll be worth the wait.”

Harry let out a loud laugh. “You better be fucking lucky that you just confessed your fucking heart out or I would hang up on you.”

“Would you be mad if I had to go? I can hear my mom calling for me.”

“No of course not. I’ll look at flights, Zayn and let you know.”

“And you’ll let me know about the rest?”

“Yes, Zayn, I will.” 

Harry hung up the phone after saying goodbye and wishing his family well. His mind was reeling and he didn’t think he could sleep now that the phone call happened. Harry texted Elise, telling her there was nothing wrong but he wanted to speak with her, his love life has changed; he texted her. Harry finally took his clothes off from the day and took a long shower, his thoughts going back to Zayn and what was to come. After his shower, he threw his hair up in a bun and slipped on a pair of boxers before going to Milo’s room and climbing into bed with him. Harry kissed the back of his head and put his arm around his son. 

“I think I found my prince charming, sweet angel.”


	17. You Don't Have To Be So Formal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So. Technically this the last chapter. The next one is the epilogue and I just want to say a massive thank you for everyone who has read this and commented and given kudos. I really do appreciate you all.
> 
> Thanks for sticking around for Harry being hopeless and Zayn being a bit daft. I hope everyone is okay and hanging in there.
> 
> Black lives matter. Sign petitions, let your voices be heard and tell the people you love that you love them.

Harry had taken a long lunch, he spent the first half of it looking at flights and texting Zayn different options and promising he would pick him up from the airport, no matter the time. The second half of it, he spent in his car waiting for Elise to call him. Harry couldn’t remember where she was in the world right now and when he finally saw her facetime call coming in, Harry felt relieved. 

“Hey Elise, thanks for finding time to call me.”

Elise rolled her eyes. “I’m the mother of your child Harry, you don’t have to be so formal.”

Harry laughed and nodded. “Right, I’m sorry I’m just nervous.”

“Why? Tell me what’s going on.” 

So Harry did. He told Elise about the speed dating event, he told her about Zayn and how they tried to become friends and how Milo adores him and how he did his best to keep his distance. He told Elise about flying Zayn home to meet his niece and about the phone call.

“I didn’t intend for it to happen like this, Elise. You gave me a warning about Adam and here I am with Zayn and he has already met Milo. I’m sorry if it seems like I went behind your back or didn’t tell you on purpose. It wasn’t like that.”

“Harry, it’s okay. It’s a little different with you because Milo is always with you. I know that if things started off different with Zayn you would have told me, just like I told you with Adam. I’m not upset with you Harry, of course I’m not. I’m so happy for you Harry, you deserve to be with someone who loves you and loves Milo. Look Harry, my situation is different and you know that. The next time I’m home, it’s only for two days which isn’t long enough time for me to see Milo and meet Zayn so don’t worry about me meeting him before he spends more time with Milo. I trust you Harry, with my entire life and if you trust Zayn around Milo then I do too.” 

Harry couldn’t stop the tears from coming and he promised Elise he would be fine and he was just overwhelmed. She couldn’t stay on the phone for long but she promised Harry she wasn’t upset, she was happy for Harry and Milo and she couldn’t wait to finally meet Zayn in person. She made Harry promise he wouldn’t put his love life on hold any longer than he already had. Harry was finally trying to compose himself when he received a text back from Zayn.

_from Zayn  
What about tomorrow? I’m ready to see my boys._

A fresh round of tears fell from Harry’s eyes as he reread the message. After some time, Harry finally composed himself enough to go back to work and immediately start looking up flights for Zayn. He texted with him a few times picking the right time for him and talked to him on the phone to get the right information. Before Zayn hung up, he whispered I miss you and it went straight to the knot in Harry’s chest. 

-

It was way past Milo’s bedtime but the second Harry bought the ticket for Zayn, he knew Milo wasn’t going to daycare the next day and there was no way in hell, Harry was going to work. Granted, it wasn’t that late. It was only eight thirty and Louis offered to watch Milo so Harry could go to the airport alone but Harry denied him. If Zayn wanted this, if he wanted them, he was going to get _them_. 

“Hold your sign up, love, he should be arriving shortly.”

Milo clutched the piece of paper in his hand that he made for Zayn, with a little help from Harry. It said ‘welcome home Z’ with lots of glitter, color and stickers. Milo was very proud of it and Harry hoped Zayn was proud of it too. Harry checked the time on his phone quickly before looking out at the crowd of arriving passengers. It felt like a lifetime passed until he finally saw Zayn walking towards them. He looked exhausted but even with messy hair and dark under eye circles, he looked flawless. Harry watched as Zayn smiled at him and then at Milo, smiling wider when he saw the sign Milo was holding. Zayn made his way through the crowd and dropped his bag at Harry’s feet, reaching out for Milo. 

“Peanut,” Zayn smiled, hugging the boy close. “I miss you.”

“Miss you too, Z. Like my sign?”

“Oh sweet angel I _love_ your sign. It’s beautiful.”

“Daddy helped.”

“Let’s face it though, he probably didn’t help too much, huh?” Zayn teased, poking Milo in the cheek causing the boy to giggle. 

Harry reached around Milo then, hugging Zayn and kissing his cheek. “Welcome home, babe.”

“I’m so glad to be back.”

Harry could tell Zayn was telling the truth and it loosened the knot in Harry’s chest. Harry picked up Zayn’s bag and smiled to himself as Milo started talking to Zayn about his day at daycare and what Louis did to all the kids. Despite being stressed and sleep deprived, Zayn listened intently to Milo’s ramblings and held a conversation with Milo the entire walk to their car and half the drive until Milo fell asleep. It wasn’t until Milo was asleep that Zayn reached across the center console and took Harry’s hand in his own. 

Once they were at Harry’s house, Harry carried Milo off to bed while Zayn locked up the downstairs and waited for Harry in his bedroom. When Harry returned, Zayn wasted no time in closing the distance between them and kissing Harry properly. Harry sighed into the kiss and was thankful that Zayn kept it slow and sweet. They kept their lips pressed together, slowly moving them without an invitation for more as hands grasped onto the other. Harry pulled away from Zayn and rested his forehead against Zayn’s. 

“I want this,” Harry admitted. “I want to give you all of me, I want you to get to know Milo and learn all about his little quirks. I want you to be ours but I have to go slow. I can’t rush into anything and I can’t tell you when I’ll be ready for more.”

Zayn kissed away Harry’s fears and ran a hand through Harry’s hair. “I’m in this Harry, for the long haul. I’ll wait as long as it takes. I want to do this right.”

“It’ll be worth the wait,” Harry told him. “I hope so anyway.”

Zayn rolled his eyes and grinned. “Please, of course it will be babe.”


	18. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the final chapter. Thank you so much to everyone who has read, commented, bookmarked or given kudos. I really appreciate it and I hope you all liked this story. 
> 
> Don't forget to continue to educate yourself, sign petitions, ask hard questions and treat people with kindness.

_One Year Later_

“Zayn,” Harry giggled. He walked into Milo’s room and wrapped his arms around Zayn’s waist and kissed the back of his neck. “What are you doing?”

“Making sure Milo has everything he needs.”

Harry bit his lip and carefully turned Zayn around and put his arms on Zayn’s forearms. “Love, I understand what you’re trying to do but he doesn’t need to bring every sweater he owns. Elise has enough clothes for him at her new house and I don’t know if you recall but it’s the middle of summer.”

Zayn laughed and looked at the sweaters he was holding and the ones he put in Milo’s bag. “Yeah, you’re right. I’m just nervous. This is the first time he’ll be gone for two weeks since I’ve known him.”

“I know babe, it will be my first time as well but we have each other. Besides, it’s not like he’s going away to camp or something. He’s going to Elise’s house, it’s an hour away and he’ll have the time of his life. She’s already planning on having us over one weekend night in between the two weeks. She knows how hard it is going to be for us but she deserves this time with him. She has waited for so long.” 

“You’re right, you’re completely right,” Zayn agreed. “Help me put all these back?” Zayn smiled. 

“No way sweet cheeks,” Harry grinned. “You made the mess, you get to clean it up. You know the rules around here. Now if you’ll excuse me, I am going to pack the things that Milo really needs, like his blanket and his favorite toothbrush.”

Zayn threw a sweater at Harry as he left the room but Harry just laughed and walked away from him. It was endearing, how nervous Zayn was for Milo to be away and Harry was just as nervous, he just had more practice on keeping it together. 

A month after agreeing to try with Zayn, Harry got a phone call from Elise stating that she was coming home, for good. It was the second time Harry had a panic attack in front of Zayn and the first time Zayn took care of him all by himself. It was a scary time for Harry but with Zayn’s reassurance and support, he got through it. 

After all, Harry didn’t have anything to worry about. Elise didn’t want to take custody away from Harry, she wanted most things to stay the same. The main difference was a more rigid schedule; every other weekend, two weeks on and off during the summer and alternating holidays. Harry finally felt like he could breathe and he agreed wholeheartedly and even told Elise he could see them spending the holidays together, all of them; Harry and Zayn, Elise and Adam and Milo, of course. 

It took some time for Elise to find a house in the area she wanted and Harry finally got to meet Adam who was lovely and Harry didn’t hesitate to let him meet Milo. Milo grew just as attached to Adam as he did with Zayn and Harry was happy. He never imagined his family would look like it does but it’s perfect and it’s everything he ever wanted. 

On the drive to the halfway point to meet Elise, they mostly listened to Harry’s music. Zayn tried to introduce Milo to his style of music but it was slow going. They hugged Milo, too tight according to the three year old, and they made sure Elise knew she could call them at any hour of the night if either of them needed them. Elise waved them off before Milo could see them crying. It took longer than it should have for them to drive home, they kept having to stop because one of them was crying. Eventually they made it home and had calmed down. They knew Milo was safe and happy and now, they had the house to themselves. 

Harry dragged Zayn upstairs to their bedroom, leaving the door wide open now that they didn’t have the fear of their son walking in on them. He kissed Zayn until he came undone and laid him on the bed, taking his time and speeding up when he wanted to. They were as loud as they wanted to be and they didn’t rush to clean up. They giggled in between the sheets, showered together, ate dessert before dinner and had sex all night long knowing they could finally sleep in. They lived out fantasies they have been wanting to try for months and they basked in the silence of the home. 

By the fourth day though, the silence and eating in bed and walking around naked wore off and they missed their boy. They facetimed him every night and promised they would see him for dinner Saturday night. They drank too much wine at dinner and shared their dream weddings and talked about having another child. They counted down the days until Milo was home and when he finally did come home, they relished in the loud noises, the mess Milo left everywhere, they locked their door dutifully at night and they never admitted to eating dessert before dinner. 

The first morning Harry woke up with Milo back at home, sleeping in his own bed, he thought about what he always dreamed of for his family. He thought about how lonely he felt before Zayn and how easily attached to him he felt. He was thankful Zayn didn’t walk out of Harry’s life completely. He was thankful Zayn slipped with and flirted with him, he was thankful Zayn kissed him softly in Louis’s living room. 

When Harry turned over in bed and saw Zayn smiling up at him, blinking the sleep in his eyes. Harry realized his dream had come true and he couldn’t ask for anything more.

“Stop staring at me and kiss me with your frog face,” Zayn mumbled, still half asleep.

“Will I ever live that down?” Harry groaned.

“Nope,” Zayn smiled. “Now come here and kiss me.”

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you guys liked it! Please let me know any thoughts, feelings, and criticism. Be honest but gentle, I'm sensitive. Tags will be updated as the story progresses and I think of more.


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